I’m about 87% sure that if you feel the need to order delivery while waiting on the train, you are the worst kind of person that I hope is rendered sterile by some horrible accident. Y’all. This little Asian delivery man is so confused and frustrated I almost bought the food my damn self just to put him out of his misery.
Can we all agree that NYC has a disproportionate number of extremely awful people? Like. Bitch. Go home and make a sandwich or something.
Maybe I went home with my girl who made breakfast this morning.
Maybe I just got home.
And maybe this shot through the entryway is my favorite thing about coming home to my apartment complex.
(And maybe all those stupid trees are the reason there is an army of brolic squirrels running around hella gangsta, not scared of a damn thing, and forever trying to chew holes in the window screens and fuck up your entire living room. (That happened this summer. Broke a vase and everything.))
The 80s were amazing. This Black queen was getting his LIFE and still hit #5 on the Billboard Hot 100. Can you imagine a hit by a Black male artist with this kind of visual expression today? The closest figure comes to mind is Andre 3000, but he’s so firmly and publicly heterosexual, no amount of no-lye relaxer and sequins could make a gay whisper stick.
Looking back, this was an interesting moment in pop music. Right in the middle of the Reagan administration and growing fears about AIDS, Jermaine Stewart released a song saying you can keep your clothes on which he further related to second-guessing all sorts of “negative” behavior like drinking and doing drugs. Regardless of the message, that chorus is going to live forever. Plus, Jermaine has some real pipes — somewhere between Michael Jackson and Martha Wash — and it’s a shame none of his other singles caught on the way this one did.
I have no opinion on Scotland’s vote last night. If the people had voted to become an independent nation and break away from the United Kingdom, I would have congratulated them. Since they decided to remain one unified country with England, Wales, & Northern Ireland….congratulations too? I just have no position.
I do have a position on states here that want to break away from the US: if you wanna go, go on ahead. Peace out. Take your Bibles and your guns with you and hit the door.
And as soon as you realize how poor your state really is without the federal government, please don’t come knocking on my door.
Today in I love Black people so much: this harmony. THIS HARMONY. Whoever is yelling shut-up in the background needs to go find Jesus because this is hot fire and I’m having church right now.
"Should I wear my granny pannies….or should I wear a thong?"
Yes, Gawd. Hallelujah.
(Also, whenever I throw minor shade at everybody being so bowled over by Adele these past few years by saying “I can go to any church in the South and randomly point to a Black woman who sounds just like that”…………..this is what I’m talking about. We been had that sound since way back when white folks were hands-clasped singing boring songs from hymnals off beat. Like, just casually amazing and hella soulful for centuries without even trying, but y’all crying about a white lady singing in funeral attire with a beehive.)
But also my favorite because I can actually justify my overwhelming feeling of annoyance with most of America by looking at pictures of these assholes standing in line for 30 hours and grinning ear to ear over a PHONE that they could’ve just gotten in the mail a couple of weeks from now anyway.