I have the most awkward, confusing boner right now! I didn’t even know “must be able to French braid” was necessary, but now I have to add it to my husband application. Chris Pratt just braided an intern’s hair while talking about Jurassic Park on Entertainment Tonight and now there’s a new genre of porn I need to create featuring buff white men playing with hair.
I feel like you can’t even whisper “Planned Parenthood” without a gang of pro-lifers showing up on your doorstep with pictures of dead fetuses and and pamphlets about God’s love. What’s the Scoop? in Portland, Oregon raises money for a different charity each month with 10% of the shop’s proceeds and 50% of the proceeds from a specially created flavor going to that charity.
This month the flavor is a honey, vanilla, and rose flavor called Rose City Revolution…or Blood & Scream by some pro-lifers.
What is this about? Who read the book and wants to give me a quick synopsis? I’m asking y’all because I don’t want some dried-up boilerplate review I’ma get if I Google it. I want one of you snarky, shady heffas to give me an honest opinion.
All I know is…I have never in my life wanted to watch two average people have sex. I like porn because they’re fantasy people that you don’t run into on the street (well you do in SoCal and NYC, but you know what I mean.) But who are these two extra-basic mayonnaise people? I am so bored already! Are they just going to have average-person bondage-sex for two hours? What is this movie?
And Beyonce needs to apologize for this shit. She done messed up her ONLY ICONIC JAM for a few coins and I feel personally disrespected. That cover is rude as hell. I want my money back and I ain’t even bought anything yet.
And one more thing: If your boo takes you to see this on opening day — Valentine’s Day — y’all’s relationship ain’t shit. I wish somebody WOULD say “let’s go see Fifty Shades of Grey" to me on February 14th and I promise you they will be single on February 15th.
Matthew Lane Durham, a 19-year-old from Edmond, Oklahoma, has been to Kenya three times on missionary trips to Upendo Children’s Home outside of Nairobi. The Home’s founders, Eunice Menja and her husband, immigrated to Kenya from Oklahoma and started the orphanage as a way to give back. On previous trips, Mrs. Menja praised Durham’s eagerness and compassion, however this trip ended with accusations of rape and molestation of several orphans — some as young as 4-years-old — to which Durham confessed after Mrs. Menja subjected him to “some sort of pseudo-tribal psychological voodoo” according to his lawyer.
Durham’s lawyer also defended Timothy McVeigh in the Oklahoma City bombing, so if he wasn’t already morally bankrupt before, he certainly hasn’t a shred of conscience left now.
37% of Republicans support raising the minimum wage
80% of Democrats say they couldn’t live on the current minimum wage
74% of Democrats support raising the minimum wage
Not only are many Republican voters wholly ignorant about what it really means to live on minimum wage, but even those who admittedly could not live on those paychecks still wouldn’t vote to raise the wage floor. If that’s not the Republican Party spitting on poor people (AND THEMSELVES) I don’t know what is.