September 2011
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I will never be called "Dad."
My husband can be “Dad” if he wants to, but I already know my kids will be calling me “Deddy.” Because no matter how many years I spend in NYC or how much money I make, I will still be a small-town boy from the backwoods of South Carolina.
Besides, “Dad” just sounds so chinos and polos, button down shirts, Italian loafers, Cosby sweaters, and life in the...
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To all the guys in porn who do double (and triple)...
It is SO uncomfortable to watch because it’s always so degrading! They’re always beating on the poor girl and spitting on her and calling her all sorts of names and choking her and pulling her hair and basically punishing her poor little crotchholes. It’s like they have to be ULTRA manly to counteract the fact that you are rubbing your penis against another penis in a...
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WatchReal Housewives of Atlanta Season 4 Trailer
Don’t go and do something stupid like ask me to hang out with you on November 6th. That’ll just put me in this super awkward position of hitting you upside the head and letting you know that television is indeed more important than our friendship.
I cannot wait. I need to find a way to take a nap for a whole month because I can’t...
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Why I like Holly on 90210:
* She’s really pretty.
* She’s black…and her name is Holly, which is always a totally plausible combo.
* Her weave situation is on point.
* She was on MTV’s SPYDER GAMES!!!!!
All shows are immediately and immeasurably improved once you add a cast member from Spyder Games. That’s just scientific fact. Good job 90210. I almost forgive you for making Dixon...
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Handedness of US Presidents
An estimated 10% of the US population is left-handed. Before the 20th century, being left-handed was seen as a disability or a defect, and schoolteachers sought to correct it and force right-handedness on their students. Therefore, it’s hard to get an accurate representation of the handedness of former presidents prior to the 1900s. However, from 1929 forward, we can pretty reliably count...
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Modern Family is to Sitcoms as Desperate...
2004. Every entertainment publication was going on and on about Desperate Housewives and Lost. You couldn’t pick up a magazine without reading something about how the one-hour drama was making a return, how the TV landscape has been saturated with sitcoms and reality shows, and how plot twists and soapy writing were bringing The Drama back to television. And they were smash hits. Other...
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Let's talk about two other really bad shows I...
Revenge and Charlie’s Angels. And they’re both preposterous for the same, but opposite reasons.
In Revenge, a little girl grows up in the Hamptons and watches her daddy get turned in for some crime by the neighbors. He goes to jail, she goes to juvie, but when she gets out, she’s suddenly rich from all the money he left her. So, she changes her name, goes back to the...
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Rambling Wednesdays: I want to talk about White...
It came up as a topic of conversation on a forum I participate in the other day and I’m still thinking about it. Not just white girl hair as a general entity of the universe, but most specifically how it ends up everywhere.
You go to a room full of white girls, and your chances of finding long, thin hairs on your clothes and furniture at home are pretty close to 100%. You can go your...
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I thought The New Girl was about Zooey Deschanel...
But that was before I saw the show.
Now, I realize it’s about a character played by Zooey Deschanel (who basically acts just like Zooey Deschanel) moving into an apartment with two gay guys who apparently pretend to have sex with women and a third guy who seems to be in love with his ex-girlfriend, but will have sex with Zooey by episode Nine.
It’s the worst thing I’ve ever...
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I need to post these four X Factor videos.
I only watch American Idol for the ridiculous auditions. Therefore, I figured the X Factor deserved the same treatment. It was shorter on ridiculousness than I’d hoped, but it still had highlights that need to be addressed.
Nicole Scherzinger goes “southern” Are we all aware how much I love her and her mediumly-talented self? Even 10 years after first being introduced to...
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There's a gay country-western bar opening in...
They’ve named it Flaming Saddles…get it?! FLAMING Saddles? Har har har, those gays and their wittiness.
I’m thinking “Ok. Country? Western? Great! Some Alan Jackson on the Karaoke jukebox. Some line-dancing and Budweiser specials. Let me go check out the website and see what the drink specials look like.”
I stopped reading when I got to Monday’s...
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The only black guy in Beverly Hills wants to ditch...
And now he’s gonna be addicted to drugs.
Really, 90210? Really???!!!???
Is the gay guy gonna get AIDS now? Is that how we do?
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Did Obama shoot himself in the foot with this tax...
The short answer is yes. Republicans already throw every name in the book at him from Socialist to Populist and it’s only going to increase.
But in the long run, he didn’t ask for enough!!! I’ve said before that Democrats don’t know how to play politics in this age of cutthroat Republicans. You can’t ask for reasonable things like a reasonable human being and...
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I wasn't going to watch The Biggest Loser this...
…because I have too much on my schedule. But then I saw my new husband, Dolvett Quince:
OH. MY. GOD.
I have never seen a dude with a body like that where you can still say his smile his the hottest thing on him. You have to watch at least the first episode. He seriously has the sexiest smile I have ever seen in my life. And he has arms for days and you can see his six pack THROUGH...
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Christwire: Is My Husband Gay?
Even without being snuggled up with some Republican faggatron making duckface (WILL YOU HOMOS PLEASE STOP THAT?? JESUS H. CHRIST!), Marcus Bachmann would still be a gay of the most shameful, deep-in-the-closet, antiquing-on-Friday, cocksucking-on-Saturday, church-on-Sunday variety. So yes, Michele, your man is a homo.
But she didn’t ask.
I just wanted to post this old article from...
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I wish this was Britney Spears.
I’ve never said that about anything, ever, but I really wish JLo’s new video had been a Britney video instead.
“Papi”
Causing accidents and all sorts of mayhem just walking down the street?
But.
JLo has been rubbing me the wrong way ever since she made a whole production about whether or not she was gonna renew her American Idol contract and this weak-ass song is...
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The only black guy in Beverly Hills wants to ditch...
Nice job, 90210.
You make it real hard for me to like you.
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Why Netflix is splitting itself in two?
From The Oatmeal:
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The SATs are out. And I'm SO OVER our educational...
And the class of 2011 can’t read. (Duh, already knew that…I have Facebook)
…The College Board announced Wednesday that mean SAT reading scores have fallen to their lowest levels in nearly 40 years, dropping four points in the last four years to 497. Furthermore, only 43 percent of test takers achieved a total score indicating they are likely to succeed in college. (cont.)
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Why doesn't Youtube just show the ratings for a...
Why I gotta click the link and give one more view to some fake-ass “go to my site to see the real blah blah blah” before I can tell that 95% of people already gave it a thumbs-down?
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The dumb fat kid on Two and a Half Men has gotten...
How does that happen?
Look at one of your yearbooks from elementary school, if you have them. Find all the ugly kids and then compare them to how they look now. The majority of them are still not that cute. (They could be wonderful people on the inside—I’m just making a point here.)
Now, think back to all the unfortunate-looking childstars who grew up to be hot. Creep-city...
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When do gay kids start "acting gay?"
Slate has an article about me. Or rather, they have an article attempting to point out correlations between non-gender-conforming behavior in toddler boys and homosexuality in their adult years. Look at this section:
…Psychiatrist Richard Green conducted the leading study in this field in the 1970s and ’80s. He followed 44 boys who defied traditional gender roles from early...
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Socialite Life's 10 Favorite Whitney Houston...
SL found the quotes, but then I had to make comments because Whitney is so ridiculous.
Nobody likes to be picked on. Nobody. So this is Cracked Out DivaSpeak for “Nobody puts Baby in a corner” yes?
I like being a woman, even in a man’s world. After all, men can’t wear dresses, but we can wear the pants. Which is some bullshit, forreal.
I finally faced the fact that it...
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Woman claims gender discrimination for not being...
Whiny Bitch of the Day goes to…
BRITTANY OF OTTAWA CANADA!!!!
Congratulations, Britt. You’ve just won a year’s supply of Eyerolls care of yours truly.
From the Toronto Sun:
The 23 year-old, who doesn’t want her last name used, responded to a Kijiji ad seeking new staff for the re-launch of Club EDGE — a gay bar downtown.
She says she was among about 30...
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