August 2012
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Child molesters shouldn't go to jail for a first...
An actual New York friar says we should have sympathy for child molesters because the children seduced them. Y’all. I read this article and halfway through I was like “The Onion is usually funnier than this.” I thought this *had* to be satire, but Father Benedict Groeschel actually said this. And more. This just takes “blaming the victim” to a whole new level of...
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Justin Bieber likes hitting his friends in the...
He also likes walking around with Oreo crumbs on his upper lip.
So apparently Justin Bieber is a big fan of hitting other guys in the balls! This is according to his manager Scooter Braun, who is also a victim of the superstar’s weird enjoyment.
During a recent interview with The New Yorker, Braun opened up about his multimillion dollar client who likes to unexpectedly hit his friends’ balls...
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Courtney Stodden just turned 18.
And the porn studios are already sniffing around.
Now that she’s “legal” — at least 4 porno companies are hoping she puts her money (and a whole lot more) where her mouth is … offering her lucrative XXX contracts. [[MORE]]
One of the companies is Brazzers.com … which says it wants to “showcase [her] talents” by featuring her in a scene with...
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WatchButter Trailer.
Finally, a worthy follow-up to Best In Show.
“That was my husband. I plan on proudly bearing his children.” “So? I get pregnant like once a month.”
That alone is enough for me to see this movie. Plus Ty Burrell. Plus whoever this little black child is who’s obviously starring but doesn’t get to have her name in the trailer because...
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Brazil may move toward legalizing civil unions...
Wait until the religious nutjobs get wind of this one…
A notary in the Brazilian state of Sao Paulo has sparked controversy by accepting a civil union between three people. Public Notary Claudia do Nascimento Domingues has said the man and two women should be entitled to family rights. The says there is nothing in law to prevent such an arrangement. But the move has angered some...
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Reality TV Stars don't age well.
Or Republicans don’t age well.
Or both.
Either way, Andrew Firestone was on the Bachelor.
Even then, I thought he was real extra regular. I’ve never seen the show or anything, but I’ve seen enough commercials to know that ABC has really stepped up their game with the eye-candy for that show. Time has not been awesome for Mr. Firestone.[[MORE]]
See? That’s what...
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Today in God's Love: Stoning kids for going to a...
Members of a Christian sect in New Jerusalem, a small town in central Mexico, burned down the only public school building in town last month. Now that the beginning of the school calendar has passed, teachers attempted to hold classes in private homes, only to be pelted by stones. They say the Virgin of the Rosary told them schools were built by the devil.
What was that thing about religion...
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News from my home state: Gov. Mark Sanford is...
The anti-marriage equality, anti-gay adoption, anti-civil union, pro-constitutional-amendment-defining-marriage-as-the-union-of-one-man-and-one-woman, Republican former governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, is getting married again.
Gov. Sanford proposed to his girlfriend, Maria Belen Chapur, in Argentina on Wednesday. Argentina, please recall, is where Gov. Sanford really was when he...
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God answers prayers! (By sending devastation to...
When Hurricane Isaac threatened Tampa, the Republican National Convention postponed their opening day. So, a bunch of Christians prayed and sent the hurricane to Louisiana instead. Now they’re all giggly because God sent that big ole nasty hurricane to some other folks.
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Christian Broadcasting Network Wonders if Prayer Moved Storm Away From Tampa to Protect the RNC
Submitted by...
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A fifth of high school students are drunk or high...
Nearly one in five students do drugs, drink or smoke cigarettes during the school day, according to a jarring new survey by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.
While the revelation that 17% of high school students may be half in the bag on any given day may come as a shock to some parents or teachers, it’s old news to the 1,000 students surveyed.
Some...
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I just figured out who "amibeyonceyet" is...
Y’ALL IT’S SCHATAR! AKA BEYONCE AKA LUTHER VANDROSS BKA HOTTIE FROM FLAVOR OF LOVE!!!
Why didn’t I realize this before? It’s so clear to me now. And all of the real posts are signed “S” and everything…
This is such a life changer. I feel like pieces of the puzzle just fell into place. I need a drink.
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I think my Little Buddy might be gay.
You’d think I’d be happy about that, being able to mentor a little gay kid, but I’m actually terrified.
Lemme tell you about Marcus and this shelter I work with.[[MORE]]
In case you didn’t know, my high school was a boarding school for the arts, and part of our humanities requirement was volunteering. The whole idea of giving back really stuck with me, so all through...
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Republicans continue to care more about fetuses...
Paul Ryan keeps opening his mouth about things, and this time he’s letting us know that rape is another form of conception. To the question of “Should it be legal for a woman to get an abortion after a rape?” Ryan had this to say:
I’m very proud of my pro-life record, and I’ve always adopted the idea that the method of conception doesn’t change the definition...
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Mittens won't release his tax returns because he's...
Has nothing to do with his tax evasion and offshore banking. Romney just feels his donations to the church are private and he doesn’t wanna embarrass anyone. He also makes perfect sense whenever he speaks and I completely believe every word he says. This man is so logical and honest and forthright and trustworthy, I can’t imagine how anyone could have doubts about his candidacy.
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The right Brazzers video'll have you thinkin about...
… until you realize you were just looking at the dick the whole time anyway.
#GayConfessions
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You're a socialist.
Well. You would be anyway if politicians and the media hadn’t made it sound like such a bad thing. However, when presented an example of how wealth is distributed in America versus the option to create a distribution of your own choosing, people always design a model that looks a lot like socialism.[[MORE]]
When you taste wine and you know the label and you know the price, you are...
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Brandy “Wildest Dreams”
Even though...
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Why you should hate Paul Ryan.
Regardless of your party, Paul Ryan should scare the crap out of you. Don’t be fooled by some clean-cut white man giving you platitudes about family values and real Americans and founding fathers. The man is selfish, misogynist, homophobic, greedy, and more than a little dumb. If you’re gay, old, female, poor, or elderly, Paul Ryan should make you want to strangle the nearest...
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Mariah Carey has a new video and it is somewhat...
Oh Mariah…
I’ll admit, I was mildly excited when I heard this was boxing themed because if there’s one thing “Heartbreaker” taught us it’s that Mariah is good at kicking her own ass.
But actual movement would’ve required a wardrobe consisting of more than stilettos and sequined spandex so my dreams were shot to shit. [[MORE]]
First of all, who is Meek...
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Mama said knock you out.
And that’s just what LL Cool J did. The Ladies might Love Cool James, but I’m sure this busted up burglar doesn’t.
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The burglar who broke into the Studio City home of actor-rapper LL Cool J suffered a broken nose and jaw in what police sources described as a “knock-down, drag-out” fight.
Los Angeles police were called to the star’s home in the...
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I didn't even know the Nickelback guy was dating...
Apparently they’re getting married. Where have I been? Oh right, somewhere protecting my ears from bleeding by not listening to either of them and pretending we were never graced by their amazing musical abilties…
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Avril Lavigne and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger’s relationship has been so quiet that few even knew they were dating. Now, after a six-month courtship,...
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Why The Gays Hate Their Bodies →
Replace “West Hollywood” with “New York City” and I could’ve basically written this. Except, he’s way hotter than me, so I’ll just be over here in the corner rocking back and forth to the sound of my own woe and despair.
(PS: Since when is Joseph Sayers a bartender? Is he even tall enough to reach the top shelf?)
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In case you're wondering, my mom never responded...
If you missed it, last week I made my final attempt at getting my mom to understand me as a gay person and to let go of her homophobia. I didn’t really expect it to work, but I thought she’d at least say something.
But nope. Exactly one week later and still no response. I do know that she did in fact read it, because she told my sister so.[[MORE]]
Last Tuesday, I finally e-mailed...
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Today in Men of God: Molester Priest has legal...
He didn’t even ask. The archdiocese was just like “here’s a loan to fight these charges, even though you were caught in your underwear chasing a little boy down the street.” Just another day in the Catholic church really. Totally normal.[[MORE]]
Last week, Oregonlive had a story about Father Angel Perez and a 12-year-old boy. The boy’s parents had given Father...
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Why shouldn't the South be allowed to secede?
From Better Off Without Em by Chuck Thompson (via JMG):
“What really led to this call for secession was understanding that a lot of people from the South are just as sick and tired of people like Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid having an impact on their country as I am sick of people like Newt Gingrich and Jeff Sessions, Eric Cantor, and Haley Barbour having an impact on my...
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I like Brandy's video more than I hate Chris...
*sorrynotsorry*
Seriously. This is the best video she’s ever made, wearin them braids lookin like 16-year-old Brandy Sittin Up In My Room. So excited for her. And she got 3 million views in five days? Forreal? Y’all still checkin for my girl like that?
::sheds single tear::
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OK, so…this is why I’m not a pop songwriter or a record executive or otherwise...
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Obama is a Muslim.
One of my childhood friends is in the city for work and she brought her brother with her. Last night she took me out for BBQ and we ended up in the East Village having a few drinks. At some point they asked me if I regretted voting for Obama, to which I obviously said “no” and they both informed me that they hate him. I wasn’t surprised; they’re both white Southerners...
