I need to post these four X Factor videos.

I only watch American Idol for the ridiculous auditions. Therefore, I figured the X Factor deserved the same treatment. It was shorter on ridiculousness than I’d hoped, but it still had highlights that need to be addressed.

Nicole Scherzinger goes “southern”

Are we all aware how much I love her and her mediumly-talented self? Even 10 years after first being introduced to Nicole (then, Kea) on PopStars, she’s still not a…well…not a pop star. She is forever B-Listing, but I love her anyway. And she is too cute on this show. I want to pinch her cheeks and make her some biscuits.

Paula Abdul runs away from a penis

Alright, so.
You are a hundred feet away from a stage where some idiot decides to drop his pants and the sight of his penis made you nauseous???????????
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Are you shitting me right now? Even lesbians wouldn’t have that reaction. The fact that we live in a country where in 2011 the sight of a penis would make someone run away, the fact that she wasn’t immediately deemed completely ridiculous, the fact that her reaction was even in the realm of appropriate is MIND BOGGLING. It’s just a freakin PENIS! And it’s not even CLOSE to you! Crazy. Not even normal Paula Crazy. Just regular crazy.

Melanie Amaro “Listen”

This is the best voice I’ve heard in years and she is totally giving me the godchild of Tracie Spencer and Whitney Houston. This bitch knew she had it on lock and pretended to be all shy. I would 100% prefer to listen to her sing it over Beyonce, totally. Hands down. Her voice is so pure. And watch her neck and check out the ease of her vibrato. No tension, no strain, just straight up delivery. I kind of hope she wins.

Caitlin Koch “Stop In the Name of Love”

And I hope this girl writes all of Melanie’s music. Can I tell you I almost cried during this song? I’ve been listening to that song since birth and I never realized how sad it was! She’s got something special. I was completely bowled over. And she’s absolutely stunning so that definitely bodes well for an entertainment career.

So I guess I might have to keep track of this show. Not actually watch it, but I might look up highlights to see how folks are doing. Or just check back at the end and watch Melanie take it home because you already know she got this.