Don’t lie.  I know you are.  I saw all you guys on Facebook talmbout some “They better release the iPhone 5…they better…if they don’t I’m gonna go punch a kid with downsyndrome in the face I swear.”

Well they didn’t.  So there.  I don’t fux with Apple anyway so I don’t give two shits.  Overrated and hella expensive.  But yesterday’s whole Build Up & Disappointment made me wonder…do you folks buy a new iPhone every year?  Because they make a new one every year.  What’s so bad about your old one that you have to get a new one as soon as it comes out?  Aren’t they all basically the same?

Oh wait…this one takes better pictures.
Oh wait…this one is a little bit faster.
Oh wait…this one looks minutely different.

Really?  That’s worth $500 a year or whatever ungodly amount those things go for.  I just don’t get the hype.  But iPhone users are fiercely protective of their little toy and they get super butthurt if you actually admit to them that you don’t see the point.  ”OMG it’s the best phone ever, it makes life so much easier.”  Phone is the operative word in that sentence.  It’s a telephone.  You call your friends/you text them.  It’s a telephone.  And how exactly is it making your life easier?  Do you even have a job?  It’s making it easier for you to play angry birds and listen to Death Cab for Cutie?  I have never been in a situation and thought DAMN! I wish I had an iPhone right now. This would be SO much easier.

Apple got you kids crazy.  I know more than a few people with an iPhone, an iPad, an iPod, and whatever mac laptop is popular, strutting around like peacocks, looking at you crazy when you bust out your 50,000 year old flip phone and *gasp* PC notebook.  I’m always sitting there with the Are You Serious Right Now face, thinking “you know all them thousands of dollars of Apple bullshit you got over there?  You really don’t do anything that I don’t do.  You still spend all day checking Facebook, downloading music, and reading blogs.”

But hey, whatever makes you feel good about yourself.  My personal weakness is slutty t-shirts with my nipples hanging out.  They make me feel like a wonderful person.  Of course mine costs $5 and yours costs $500 but who can put a price on self-esteem?

1:01 pm  •  5 October 2011  •   Let's talk about what you think.
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