If Chris Meloni ends up on True Blood…

…then you might as well just go on ahead and call that my new favorite show and I’ve never even seen an episode.

Chris Meloni

Looks like Christopher Meloni might be going from solving gruesome murders to committing them. On screen, of course. The former “Law & Order: SVU” star, who left the NBC series last spring after 12 seasons, is in talks to join the cast of the fifth season of “True Blood,” TVLine reports. (cont.)

Ok, so I avoid all manner of Vampire Everything In The World. I just don’t have time in my life for that. This is all I know about vampires: They have a lot of sex, take their clothes off a lot, and they’re all bisexual. Right? I’m pretty sure that’s right.

So, Chris, I’m sorry I basically called you an asshole a few months ago. I totes forgive you if the reason you left SVU is to make softcore gay porn on HBO. Because you’re on cable again. Obviously, we’re gonna need to see your penis again.

Thanks.