I just watched three weeks worth of Days of Our Lives in two days.

Yes bitch, for real.

I swear. That fucking show. For every scene that bugs the hell out of me, there’s another that makes me go “Well now I have to watch the next episode to see what happens!”

LUCAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS! Somebody hold me back. I’m about to jump THROUGH the screen and onto that man. I was obsessed with him when I was little. Everytime he comes back for a little while I’m just like “please please please stay forever.”
Y’all. Sami slapped the HEN PISS out of Carrie. Yaaaaaasssss, bitch. I had to replay that shit three times. I love Bitchy Sami. She is basically the best part of my entire childhood.
Can we just rename Kate “SupaHo”? I swear to god if he has money, Kate has thrown the kittybox at him. Girl you are like 80 years old now. Cool your vagina, ma’am.
Please PLEASE let Abby turn this Austin-thing into some poodle-hair, Glen Close, boiling rabbits, Fatal Attraction type shit. I want her hiding in a closet, spying on Austin and Carrie doing the nasty, and jumping out like KABAYOW!
Who knew Will’s first gay kiss would almost end in a concussion? I thought somebody’s skull was gonna get cracked the way they were knockin heads in that (random?) cave. Why is there a cave in the town square? Is that new? Who is charge of props over there? Do better.
Y’all. Rafe turned EJ’s face into meatloaf! And then Nicole put the ketchup on it! HAHAHAHA! Oh the drama. More fighting please!

PS: Does anybody care about Bo & Hope/Marlena & John? All I really want is for Hope to start eating carbs again so she can put some weight on her face. Somebody tell her that Skeletor is not the look this season (or ever).

PPS: Does anybody care about Lexie & Abe? I feel like he has aged 20 years in the past decade and she’s still on beauty queen status. Just get her a new boo and something to do other than be mad at somebody for telling a lie. It’s a soap opera. People lie. Get over it. Your momma is a tarot card reader and your daddy is a crime syndicate kingpin and you turned out just fine, so obviously a little lie never hurt anybody.

So glad I have at least another year and a half of this hot-ass-messery.