Janet Jackson is obviously not going to be a judge on the X-Factor.

I don’t even know how somebody fixed their mouth to start this rumor.

…On February 22, Simon Cowell revealed that Paula and Nicole would be replaced by two women, so naturally a short list of A-list ladies (who need no surname) began to formulate: Mariah. Britney. Pink. Janet.

Well, you can officially cut that list by one, because Janet Jackson tells TheInsider.com that she is “very flattered that X Factor let me know that I was being considered for next season, but it just wouldn’t be possible.” (cont.)

But really. Did you really think JANET DAMITA JO JACKSON would be a judge on a talent show? Are you crazy?!

First of all, can you imagine Janet Jackson being a host/judge of anything. I love you, J, but you knockin on 50 and you still ain’t learned to raise your voice above a whisper. (Unless you’re singin about gettin your kittybox beat because you’ll scream all day about that.)

Secondly, who exactly would Janet, world-famous superstar, replace? The one who isn’t even famous or the one who used to be famous? You don’t replace a barely recognizable girl group singer or a washed-up choreographer with a MEGASTAR. Janet is like…the most famous woman in the world behind Madonna and Michelle Obama.

Simon gonna have to do better than that and put some calls out to some mediumishly famous somebodies who need publicity like he did with Paula and Nicole. And Cheryl Cole and Kelly Rowland. Stop aiming for the stars and shoot for the horizon or something. And on that horizon I see…………….Ciara. That’s your level, Simon. And Ashanti. And that girl with the curly hair who sang “What if god was one of us?” Go call them. I promise you they have absolutely nothing to do right now.