Same Sex Marriage is the same as slavery.

Morally anyway. Oh you didn’t know? Oh and it’s the same as abortion and divorce and contraception. Obviously this is from some crazy Catholic pastor (Rev. Thomas LaHood) who wrote that those in society who say we shouldn’t police other people’s lives, that people should be able to do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t interfere with anyone else, are very bad people.

Let’s rewind to the beginning of this hot-ass-messery when one of Rev. LaHood’s subordinate priests got out of pocket AT A FUNERAL and basically showed his ass.

Barbara Johnson is a lesbian from Gaithersburg, MD. Her mom died and the Catholic funeral was led by Father Marcel Guarnizo, parochial vicar of St. John Neumann Catholic Church. I’ve never been to a Catholic funeral, but I’m assuming at some point everybody lines up to take communion because Fr. Guarnizo caused a big stink when he refused to give a little Jesus cracker to Barbara Johnson The Big Lesbian.

She got mad. The press got wind. And now she’s giving big angry lesbian interviews to major news outlets calling for Fr. Guarnizo to be fired. Well, you know how the Catholic Church works: commit the crime, ~~do the time~~ apologize profusely whether you mean it or not. Fr. Guarnizo’s bosses are all “WE ARE SO SORRIE! YOU DESERVED THAT CRACKER! AND SOME JUICE! EVEN LESBIANZ NEED CLOSURE!”

Rev. Thomas LaHood, one of Fr. Guranizo’s bosses, is being fake. He wouldn’t’ve given her any juice and crackers either. Tell us how you really feel, Rev. La Hood. Like you did in this article for your church’s weekly bulletin.

The contrary argument is an account of the human person that says that we are radical individuals and that the only rule of behavior is that each of us is free to follow his impulses and desires as long as we do not hurt anyone else. This is a very negative view of human nature. Its basic acknowledgement is that we owe nothing to anyone else, either individually or to society as a whole. Under this account, the only moral question anyone has to answer in regard to a particular action is this: “is this action what I want to do and will it advance the fulfillment of my desires without interfering with anyone seeking to fulfill his desires?” This rule denies that any of us owes anything to anyone else. This is the moral compass behind contraception, abortion, no-fault divorce, in-vitro fertilization, embryonic stem cell research, slavery, and same sex marriage.

The invocation of slavery and same sex marriage in the same category may seem startling. But, they both come under the same moral category.

Alright. Let me get this right.

A) It’s dangerous to believe that people should do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t interfere with anyone else.

B) This is the logic behind contraception, abortion, divorce, IVF, stem cell research, gay marriage, and slavery.

C) So slavery doesn’t interfere with anyone else.

Slaves aren’t people. The reason slavery is bad isn’t because you are enslaving fellow humans and depriving them of all of their basic rights as people, because slaves aren’t people. I’m not sure what they are according to Rev. LaHood, but they’re definitely not people, because that would mean slavery interfered with someone else.

But the real problem is that I’d be willing to bet almost no one in that congregation put those two pieces of the puzzle together. They just saw SLAVERY = GAY MARRIAGE and they must be equally bad.

What is this world?

You do know that if God really did exist he’d be up there like “Fuck this noise, I can’t even deal with this foolishness anymore. Let me go retry this experiment again on some other planet.”