Britney Spears got offered $10 million to join the X-Factor.

I don’t know if she took it or not. Some sources say she refused. Others say they got back at her with $12-15 million and she’s on the verge of accepting. All I know is…This is the worst idea ever.

Obviously this would be a ratings stunt. Simon is still butthurt that his new show didn’t pull in viewers that his old show did. So, he needs to fill those empty seats left vacant by Paula and Nicole with someone who would make the public tune in. Let’s be real: If Britney Spears ends up being a judge on this show, everybody is going to tune in at least for a few episodes. But, remember the last time you heard Britney talk candidly about anything? Yeah. It wasn’t fun, entertaining, or intelligent. It was like having a conversation with the girl who bags your groceries at the Piggly Wiggly. She’s not a bad person and the convo was perfectly pleasant for a few minutes, but do you want to watch her on TV?

Also, this is a talent competition, right? I mean, Brit is SUPER talented at lip-syncing, but that’s about it. She can’t sing, and now, she can’t even dance. And even given all that, I wouldn’t mind horribly if she were a judge on American Idol. You just sit there and basically say “I liked it” or “I didn’t like it.” But on the X-Factor you’re supposed to be a mentor and coach your acts and put on shows. How is Britney going to put on a show when she can barely get through her own? She doesn’t write songs, she barely sings songs, she’s not musically talented, and she was never a GREAT dancer to begin with—just lots of arm flails and exposed midriff. And you want her to teach someone else how to be a great performer?

It seems so flagrantly horrible that I didn’t even put any weight behind the rumors at first because Simon Cowell couldn’t possibly be that stupid, right? But day after day, more and more articles pop up about this alleged partnership so there must be some truth in it.

Well, if it happens, I hope she gives us classic Britney.

Not, immaculate dance-moves, passionate lip-syncing Britney. More like barefoot in a public restroom, drinking Frappuccinos with Cheeto dust on your face Britney.