A church in Missouri fired some dude for getting gay-married.

And now everybody is whining about it. I mean, I totally get the injustice. Sexual discrimination is bad, you shouldn’t fire people for being gay, blah blah blah blah. But you took a job at a Catholic Church, man. And then you got gay married. I’m sorry, did I miss a dogmatic shift from the Pope that suddenly said gay marriage is OK? Seriously. That’s like working for PETA and getting mad if they fire you for buying an Outback franchise. Obviously you aren’t supposed to do that.

…As The New York Times is reporting, Al Fischer and Charlie Robin celebrated their 20th anniversary as a couple with a romantic ceremony at Central Park’s Bethesda Fountain on Friday, followed by tickets to see Broadway’s “Priscilla: Queen of the Desert” on Saturday.

The Missouri-based Fischer, 46, was fired Feb. 17 from St. Ann Catholic School in north St. Louis county, where he’d worked for four years, after a representative of the St. Louis Archdiocese was made aware of “[Fischer’s] plan to unite in marriage with an individual of the same sex,” according to St. Ann’s pastor. “With full respect of this individual’s basic human dignity, this same-sex union opposes Roman Catholic teaching as it cannot realize the full potential a marital relationship is meant to express,” Rev. Bill Kempf is quoted as saying by the Associated Press.

The St. Louis Archdiocese echoed those sentiments in a statement, saying it supports the school’s action “as it is in full compliance with the Christian Witness Statement signed by every educator in the Catholic school system,” according to the AP. (cont.)

I would just like you to ZERO IN on the last statement of the above excerpt: It is in full compliance with the Christian Witness Statement signed by every educator in the Catholic school system.

That’s it dude! Stop whining! You knew what you were getting into!

See, this is my problem with the whole deal. You go work for an environment that is naturally hostile to your very being, and you basically got away with flouting some of their main principles for however many years. You were openly gay and living in sin with your lover for two decades. You got a little comfortable, decided to push the envelope a little bit, and found out that they weren’t gonna let you slide anymore. Alright, take your lumps, and peace out.

Let’s further relate this to PETA.

Say PETA has an opening for a job that I am perfect for, but I’m not a vegetarian. I told them that and they hired me anyway because I’m amazing. Everybody pretty much knows I eat meat, since I’ve brought a couple of turkey sandwiches to lunch and everything, but they’re content to look the other way because I’m so good at my job and not ruffling any feathers. One day, I start talking to one of my coworkers about my summer vacation plans to go to Texas and participate in this big BBQ Rib festival or something, and a diehard vegan overhears and tells the boss. The boss is like, “Alright, we kind of ignored your transgressions but this is a step too far. If you actually go, we’re gonna have to fire you.” Not only do I keep my plans to go, but I let my partner put those plans on Facebook so the whole world can see that PETA wants to fire me for eating meat. Do you see how ridiculous this sounds? If PETA wanted to fire me for eating meat, nobody would even blink, but I’m supposed to be mad that the Catholic Church is firing this dude for being gay?

Bitch please.

Now that I’ve gotten all of that out…let’s play Devil’s Advocate for half a second because really, Catholic Church? Is your whole motto “do what you want unless anybody finds out?” Because I find it kind of stank and crazy that you’ll fire some man for publicly marrying his man-mate, but you won’t fire all those priests secretly diddling little boys. You try to cover that shit up with the quickness and only if the press finds out do you actually fire somebody. Even with Gay Fischer, you let him teach even though you knew he was gay. It was only when he started getting too loose-lipped did you actually fire the dude.

I say we audit that whole damn organization. If they’re hiding secret homos when they pretend to hate all of us…if they’re hiding pedos when they should be turning them over to the police…who else are they hiding? Somebody up in there knows who killed Jon Benet Ramsey dammit and we need to go find out.