Lord Jesus, Tyra just fired Nigel and both of The Jays.

Bitch you have lost your damned mind. What even is the point of watching Top Model now? Nobody signed up to watch skinny bitches in a competition to be Totally Mediocre and Completely Average. I want to see Miss Jay being fierce and fabulous, Nigel being smashable and debonair, and Mr. Jay being helpful and adorably marriage-worthy.

Oh but you kept that big angry lump of nothing called Kelly Cutrone.

#Girlbye

From E! News:

…Tyra Banks has fired her longtime America’s Next Top Model costars J. Alexander, Jay Manuel and Nigel Barker.

Banks herself confirmed the news, tweeting, “Fierce & love 2 my Nigel, Jay & Miss J. ANTM turned us in2 a family. Excited for what the future holds for us.”

According to the New York Post, the trio was informed yesterday that their contracts would not be renewed for the 19th season. (cont.)

I just don’t know what I’mma do to be honest. I am IN LOVE with Jay Manuel like you don’t even know. Clearly I’ve had this whole “bear” obsession going on since I can remember, and I do love a scruffy dude. But from the very first time I saw Mr. Jay, all tanned with that ridiculous white hair, looking like a little gay Storm from X-Men coming to blow us all away with a Tornado of Fierce, I was sold. In my next life, I’m trynna look that good in makeup, real talk.

Also, can we address the fact that Miss Jay is 53 with legs for days? And he is forreal on his cocoa butter game, greased up like a project chick in the winter time, with nary a speck of dry skin or ashy knee.

And Nigel is Nigel. How do you fire a man who looks like that? I mean, isn’t this America? Don’t the beautiful ones have it easy? If all of that sexy can just lose his job at the drop of a hat, let me just get my lifetime membership to the unemployment office. I don’t believe in a world where Nigel Barker can get fired from anything.

But hey, at least nobody is mad. Mr. Jay blogged about it nicely and Nigel was giving interviews talmbout he was actually expecting this since the ratings were down and his head had been on the chopping block before. Maybe I’ll randomly see him walking his kids to school in the West Village more often now that he doesn’t have a day job.

I know one thing though. Twiggy is nice, but she was boring, and replacing Janice’s loud, insane, delusional ass with her was a major misstep. Andre Leon Talley was completely ridiculous with his bed-sheet muu-muus and his Why-The-Hell-Do-You-Talk-Like-That,-You’re-From-North-Carolina accent, but I’ll take him over Kelly “Bitter and Hateful” Cutrone any day. They gonna have to do better than that if they expect me to keep watching after letting all three of my babies go at once.

I can’t imagine how they plan to make this OK and Watchable anymore.

(Unless they’re about to hire Naomi Campbell! Cause I would die immediately.)