John Travolta has an 8 inch wang.

I’m pretty sure that’s in Gay Internet Inches though, so it’s probably more like six. Either way, he allegedly tickled some balls and started whacking it in front of a masseur and the accuser says Travolta is packing 8 inches surrounded by pubic hair that is “wiry and unkempt.”

Well. John started going bald a long time ago so I guess he wanted to keep some hair somewhere. :-/

From RumorFix:

A Texas masseur is suing actor John Travolta for assault, sexual battery and intentional infliction of emotional stress.

In a lawsuit obtained by RumorFix, the unidentified plaintiff claims that Travolta made sexual advances at him during a massage session in Beverly Hills. The plaintiff alleges that the actor “shamelessly stripped down naked in front” of him and was “semi-erect” before things even got started. Travolta then allegedly started rubbing the plaintiff’s leg before being asked to stop; and just moments later, touched the victim’s “scrotum” while snickering “like a mischievous child.”

The plaintiff says that he reminded Mr. Travolta multiple times that sexual acts in exchange for money were illegal, but Travolta’s rebuttal was, “Come on dude, I’ll jerk you off!” (cont.)

LOL. ”Come on dude, I’ll jerk you off!” That’s how I know this is clearly flake. Who pays to give someone a handjob? Besides, John Travolta does not seem that gracious and giving to me. He’s a Scientologist; he’s gonna want his money’s worth.

Realtalk moment: I would still MIGHT MAYBE in a moment of poor decision-making let John Travolta get some. I mean………..

Oh hai daddy bear how you doeh?!

I’m not always first in line for the Older Man Section, but if he wasn’t so creepy/weird/closeted/Scientologisty, John Travolta would still be kinda fine. And he’s rich. And apparently packing.

I don’t see a lot of downsides to being that masseur. I woulda got that handjob and maybe put in a little extra effort of my own for a good tip. No shame. That dummy coulda had a choice sugar daddy and he chose a 15-minutes-of-fame lawsuit instead. I guess he didn’t learn from all those boy-hoes trying to sue Tom Cruise all the time.