Vibe’s Sexy Issue featuring the Queens of Reality TV.

Or.

Vibe’s Ratchet Issue featuring The Queens of Wealthy Hoodrattery.

::chuckle::

No but seriously, I’m JK. I’m actually a HUGE fan of Kandi and how she conducts herself surrounded by all of that Atlanta foolishness. Tamar is really extra more often than not, but she (and her whole family to be honest) are really a classy group of women who just argue with their sisters like everyone else. I can kind of get behind Evelyn most of the time too. I mean, she obviously needs to stop throwing things, but usually if something is popping off, I’m on her side.

But Chrissy Lampkin?

#Girlbye

What are your qualifications exactly aside from being ~~married to~~ shacked up with Jim Jones? You don’t have a job. You’ve never had a job. You have no talents. You have no hobbies. Your whole life is running your mouth about other folks who actually have something going on.

I mean, Kandi is obviously Boss Bitch Extraordinaire. Tamar wouldn’t be *AS* fabulous without Vince, but you can live a pretty cushy existence being a back-up singer (just ask Debra Killings and Shanice). Evelyn isn’t doing anything these days, but she did have a shoe store. And she’s working on that book thing. And I’m assuming she was smart enough to weasel some money out of her fiance during those 10 years they were together because she’s obviously balling now. But Chrissy? Please. If Jim wasn’t rich, she woulda left him a LONG ASS TIME AGO. She clearly stated that her man cheats on her, but that’s fine, as long as he doesn’t flaunt it. WHO SAYS THAT?! Get a job and some self respect. That is some hoodrat behavior right there.

The accompanying interview is pretty good though. Of course Tamar was jumping in everybody else’s answers, but the rapport seems nice between these ladies. Chrissy is barely keeping her ratchetry under wraps, but she held it together for the most part.

My favorite parts:

VIBE: Star Jones started a petition, lashing out against women and violence on reality TV. What’s your reaction?
Evelyn: [Bursts into laughter] I think she’s going to have to get a whole lot of names. Actually, I like the petition and I like the controversy because I’ve learned controversy is good. But I think she’s irrelevant. And she’s using our coattails to get relevant again. Nobody gives a fuck about her.
I love picturing Evelyn’s face while she says that. ”Nobody gives a fuck about her.” ::flips hair:: ::rolls eyes::

Did any of you foresee your show being as big as it is today?
Tamar: There aren’t a lot of female African-American shows, better yet about sisters [on television], which I think is very important, not just for the Braxtons but…
Kandi: There’s a lot of things about your show that I like. I like the fact that you guys are an entertainment family. I think people love the whole music side of things, being able to see the behind-the-scenes of your careers. I thought that’s what I brought to Housewives—Atlanta is a beautiful town and you get to see that, but you get to see that people who are quote, unquote “celebrities” have normal real life issues.
Tamar: Kandi, this is the honest to God truth: to this day, I don’t see my family as an entertainment family. We’ve been doing this since I was a baby. So until our show aired, I thought we was like every other family!
Kandi: You are! Which is why people like the show. A lot of people don’t get to see your momma tell you, “I’ll slap you down.” [Laughs]
I like how Kandi always keeps it real. Other people are like “I don’t watch so and so show, I have no time.” Nice job being honest. And I will LOL forever at that scene where Mama Braxton told Tamar she was gonna slap the piss outta her. LOLOLOL!

Do any of you see yourselves as role models?
Chrissy: I guess if somebody is afraid to speak their mind and wanna stand up for themselves, then yes. I want people to realize that they can have whatever they want. You can be respected in your relationship exactly the way you want to be. It’s up to you to go get it. Some of the stuff is a little heavy, but you’re not going to be exposed to crazy situations in life just by watching reality TV. You can go to the corner store and see crazy shit going on. You can go to school and see crazy shit. Don’t put it all on me.
Bitch Please. Where are my Sit Down cards? Is she really saying she’s a role model for a relationship? Because she finally got an engagement ring out of Jim? ::eyeroll:: A) He’s still gonna sleep with any and every body. B) You only wanted the ring so you’d have rights to some of that community property if he decides to leave your delusional ass in the dust. And no, Chrissy, a lot of people AREN’T exposed to crazy shit like throwing wine glasses at people and kicking girls in the head. That is not everyday real life viewing for most folks. You’re a hoodrat. Own it.

I guess I’m just really not a fan of Chrissy at all. Or the picture they chose. Evelyn looks like a drag queen and Tamar’s leg is all kinds of strange. But you can check out the full interview on Vibe if you’re so inclined.