King Latifah wants you to know that performing at a gay pride parade does not make you gay.

She is totally right. Tons of straight performers show up to sing a few ditties for the gays every year around this time. That really does not make you gay.

Being a lesbian and dating women is what makes you gay, ma’am. Get it together.

In case you didn’t know, Hollywood’s most notorious closet lesbian headlined the gay pride event in Long Beach, California a couple of weeks ago. The whole internet basically Rejoiced and Was Glad that Queen Latifah was finally going to come out of the closet.

Then, she performed. The gays went crazy, and she referred to the crowd as “her people.” I mean, she wasn’t on People magazine with I’M GAY in big ass typeface, but for all of the people who have been wondering when she’d finally make the leap out of the closet, Long Beach Pride seemed to be her saying “Look, I’m not gonna do the whole coming-out-thing, but you already know the ladies I’ve been dating so lemme just affirm these rumors and keep it moving.”

Except, that’s not what she was doing at all and Queen Latifah wants to tell the internet rumor machine that she is still ~~in the closet~~ not commenting on her personal life. From Entertainment Weekly:

Queen Latifah wants to be clear: Despite speculation online, her performance at Long Beach’s Lesbian & Gay Pride event on May 19 was not a signal that she was coming out as a lesbian. “That definitely wasn’t the case,” she tells EW. “I’ve never dealt with the question of my personal life in public. It’s just not gonna happen.”

Let me get this straight: You “never deal with the question of your personal life in public” by commenting publicly about how you don’t talk about your personal life publicly. ::eyeroll:: If you wanna be in the closet, fine. But shut up about it. We know you’re a lesbian. You know you’re a lesbian. You know that we know you’re a lesbian. So why the song & dance about how private your private life should be just because we’re calling you a lesbian again? This is not news to anyone.

Or maybe she really is delusional and thinks we don’t know she’s a lesbian, like all those pics of her in total Butch Lesbian Vacation gear hugged up with Jeanette Jenkins don’t exist. Like she doesn’t get caught in the strip club every other month. Like she ain’t been completely man-less since Scooter on Living Single.

Whatever, girl. Live in your bubble of denial. I’ll just be over here watching you dyke it out way too realistically in Set It Off.