Breaking News: Americans are still really fucking dumb.

Almost half of the population believes God made humans—current, modern humans, exactly as we are now—10,000 years ago. Look at this Gallup poll:

You see that? Are you ripping your hair out? Because I am. (But not really because you know how much I really like my hair and all.)

In U.S., 46% Hold Creationist View of Human Origins
Highly religious Americans most likely to believe in creationism
by Frank Newport

PRINCETON, NJ — Forty-six percent of Americans believe in the creationist view that God created humans in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years. The prevalence of this creationist view of the origin of humans is essentially unchanged from 30 years ago, when Gallup first asked the question. About a third of Americans believe that humans evolved, but with God’s guidance; 15% say humans evolved, but that God had no part in the process.

Gallup has asked Americans to choose among these three explanations for the origin and development of human beings 11 times since 1982. Although the percentages choosing each view have varied from survey to survey, the 46% who today choose the creationist explanation is virtually the same as the 45% average over that period — and very similar to the 44% who chose that explanation in 1982. The 32% who choose the “theistic evolution” view that humans evolved under God’s guidance is slightly below the 30-year average of 37%, while the 15% choosing the secular evolution view is slightly higher (12%).

(source)

This probably goes without saying, but the poll also revealed that the majority of Republicans are Creationists (58%) and that Americans with a postgraduate education are the most likely to believe in some sort of evolution (29% - evolution with no input from God; 42% - evolution where God guided the process).

Basically, the smarter you are, the more likely you are to believe in evolution, whether independently or with God’s help.

Look. Here’s the thing.

I’m an atheist. I don’t really care if you are or not. There’s room in this world for all kinds of beliefs. I might make a few light-hearted jabs from time to time, but I’m not setting out to turn the rest of the world into non-believers. So, if you wanna believe in God, that’s fine.

But if you wanna believe in God and then throw away allllllll of the science we’ve accumulated over the past centuries, that’s not cool! How are we really still that self-centered? How many centuries did it take us to say “Oh hey you know what, we really aren’t the center of the universe and the Sun doesn’t actually revolve around us”? And now we’re still saying how special we are and God made us by hand from some dirt and junk 10,000 short years ago.

Yeah.

I’m kind of just over the stupidity in this country. I really wanna just troll the gas stations, looking for cars with some kind of Jesus quote bumper sticker and ask them if they believe earth is only 10,000 years old. And then I can scream obscenities at them about how the gas going into their car is clear proof that the planet has been here for millions of years.

Unless God made all the oil too when he made us…in which case, y’all need to pray for him to make some more because these gas prices are just outta control.