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I live in a constant state of early 90s.
When college rock was good, and black people were still on TV.

So you scammed the government out of $2.1 million, but you forgot where you put the debit card. | SLTA___
     So you scammed the government out of $2.1 million, but you forgot where you put the debit card.

This chick has got to be the dumbest broad in America right now.

I can barely gather my thoughts right now.  I just want to punch somebody in the face because not everybody deserves to be a criminal.  This trick needs to be bagging things at Dollar General and getting excited over Buy One, Get One specials on Filet O’ Fish Sandwiches at McDonald’s.  She does NOT need to be pulling off multi-million-dollar government heists.  I’m so mad with her right now.

Woman arrested for falsely claiming $2.1 million tax refund
Krystle Marie Reyes went on a $200,000 shopping spree before she was caught
Sunday, June 10, 2012, 6:34 PM

An Oregon woman who allegedly received a $2.1 million tax refund after filing a false claim has been caught following a $200,000 spending spree.

Krystle Marie Reyes of Salem was arrested Wednesday for what is believed to be the largest case of fraud in the state of Oregon.

The 25-year-old used TurboTax to falsely report wages of $3 million on her 2011 personal income tax return, according to an affidavit obtained by The Oregonian. Reyes used the software’s tax calculator to claim a refund of $2.1 million.

Turbotax issued Reyes a Visa card with the refund amount after Oregon approved the sum.

The affidavit states that Oregon revenue officials only discovered the fraud when Reyes reported the card that contained the seven-figure sum lost.

Reyes had already spent more than $200,000 on a car and other items by the time authorities got wind of the situation.

Intuit, the company that owns Turbo Tax, has since returned $1.9 million to the state.

Reyes will appear in court on July 5th. She will faces charges of aggravated theft and computer crime.


Please tell me how you lose a debit card with TWO MILLION DOLLARS on it?!  I mean………realtalk: I lose my shit all the time.  I lost my bank card last fall, and it was the last straw that made me never want to live in Brooklyn ever again.  BUT.  I don’t have any money.  I got mega-hype grocery shopping at Fairway yesterday because they had some turkey (that I don’t even like) on special, and I had the deli guy slice me double what I usually get.  That was my Ballin & Pimpin moment for the week.  

But this heffah had TWO MILLION DOLLARS on a bank card and she just lost it?  And then she REPORTED it missing?  Can we just list how many times this lady went wrong?

  1. After successfully pulling off this scam and basically being totally in the clear (because nobody was checking for her at all), she stayed in the country.  The first thing you do is get that money offshore so nobody can trace it back to you.
  2. After sitting around buying silly shit for $200,000, she lost the card.  She didn’t even have enough sense to split up the money into different locations.  Just BOOM.  Everything is gone.
  3. After losing the card, she didn’t say “well it was good while it lasted.”  She wanted a replacement card for her stolen payments.  I guess Krystle doesn’t know that the LAW doesn’t help you recover from UNLAWFUL damages.  Like, if you sell somebody weed and they don’t pay for it, you can’t sue them in court.  (I bet Krystle would try though.)

I’m so annoyed with this woman.  That is a pretty choice scam she managed to pull off.  I would never have the balls to even attempt that, and thanks to her, nobody will ever be able to try again because this trick let herself caught in the dumbest way possible.

I hope she went to DisneyLand or some shit.  Or took lots of pictures of herself riding around in her new car.  Maybe she can get some joy reliving the memories because I’m pretty sure from now on, everyone she knows will be looking at her like the three-legged-puppy, blind in one eye, running into walls and yelping.

Sad.  Just sad.

10:42 am  •  12 June 2012  •   Let's talk about what you think.

| crime| stupid people| money| oregon| taxes| krystle marie reyes|

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