Atheists are atheists because they’ve actually thought about religion.

Not to be rude or confrontational or unnecessarily assholey, but the fastest way to make an atheist is to take an intelligent, critically thinking person, sit them down with a Bible (or Koran, or Torah, etc) and make them read it. Religious people love to say they’ve read the Bible, but it’s a lie. First of all, nobody in this country reads books anymore. Secondly, that bitch is LONNNNNNNNNNG. It’s so long. And it’s incredibly boring. Nobody reads the whole Bible and pays attention to it. Because if more people were doing that, we’d have way more atheists.

Most people are “religious” for the following reasons:

They grew up that way. So they still just go to church. And say grace before each meal. And pray for things they really want (or don’t want) to happen.
They grew up that way. But they got older and realized somethin in the milk wasn’t clean. So, they ignore the parts they don’t like, and possibly pull a few random things from other religions/faiths/self-help books, and now they’re just “spiritual.”
They had some life-altering experience and talking to clouds helps them get their feelings out.

That’s really about it. The majority of people I know who go to church fall into one of those categories. And that is just fine. Still, why does nobody like to point out the uncomfortable fact that atheists are A) More likely to have post-graduate degrees and B) More likely to have actually studied religion? Basically, religion is for simple people who never really paid attention to their faith in the first place. :-/

And that’s exactly why so many preachers, priests, clergymen, and other various spiritual leaders are secretly atheists. They’ve spent so many years studying these crazy fairy tales and still haven’t come up with any reasonable answers to anyone’s questions. Now, they have a support group.

Major Threat to Religion? Clergy People Coming Out as Atheists
A burst of media attention has been focused on atheists of an unexpected stripe — clergy members. Could non-believing clergy change how we see religion?
June 10, 2012 |

What happens when a clergy person — a minister, a priest, a rabbi, an imam — realizes he doesn’t believe in God?

And what happens when he says it out loud? What happens when they find each other; when they support each other in coping with their crises, when they help each other with resources and job counseling and other practical assistance? What happens when they encourage each other to come out?

Could this affect more than just these clergy people and their followers? Could it change how society as a whole thinks and feels about religion?

That’s what the Clergy Project is finding out. In recent months and years, atheists have been all over the news. But over the last few weeks, a burst of media attention has been focused on atheists of an unexpected stripe: clergy members. And in particular, attention is going to the Clergy Project, an online meeting place and support group that exists specifically for these unexpected additions to the ranks of the godless.

(cont.)

The article is four pages long, but it says what I’ve been saying for years: People who seriously, objectively, and critically think about their religion stop being religious. Aside from all of the logical questions about evolution and dinosaurs and burning bushes and zombies rising from the dead etc, God just isn’t very nice. He’s bitter, jealous, malicious, and lazy. I don’t get why people are forever singing him songs. Nobody sings me songs when I act like an asshole. I get slapped. You should start slapping God. No more hymns for him. He needs a time-out.

This part of the article is one of the most spot-on statements I’ve seen about religion all year:

Most believers are just trying to get on with their day-to-day lives, and if difficult or complicated questions about their faith occur to them, they often assume that their religious leaders know the answers… the way we assume that pilots know how to keep airplanes in the sky. As Lawrence Hunter said, many believers “are simply unable or unwilling to do the work to read and research their beliefs and other aspects of their lives. It’s easier to be told who to believe, vote for and buy from, etc. Religion is the balm that soothes difficult questions.”

Can’t say it any better than that. The scary part, however, is that their religious leaders are not pilots and they don’t know the secrets to keeping the plane aloft. They don’t have any more insight than you do. You might as well go find your own answers.

And when you don’t find any, feel free to come party in the atheist club. We have cake.