Mob Wives Chicago is trying SO HARD!!!

(Okay, that one scene was kind of funny though.)

But I think I’m through with this mess.

Mob Wives Staten Island was fun to watch because it was white women being messy over actual shit. ”You didn’t see me when I was dying in the hospital…you stole my man; I thought we was bffs?…my husband sent my father back to prison…” Yeah, it was way over-the-top, but at least it was grounded in real stuff.

But god. Chicago? I can’t even believe these are grown women.

You deleted me from Facebook.
I can’t believe Christina and Nora had an actual argument about that. YOU JUST MET! YOU WEREN’T EVEN FRIENDS! So what if Nora deleted you off her Facebook? You don’t even like her. Nobody likes her. Shit, I don’t even like her. Why do you even care?

Besides, what reason does she have to keep you as a friend anyway? The first time she meets you, you throw a drink at her best friend and start pulling hair in the middle of a nice establishment. Bitch I’d delete you from Facebook too.

You were late to my dad’s memorial dinner.
Not memorial service, as in, he just died and they’re having his funeral. No. Memorial dinner, as in, Nora’s crazy ass can’t get over her dad being dead so she’s having dinner on his birthday to reminisce about the past. So what if Renee was late? I doubt he cares—he’s dead. He doesn’t have anywhere to be. He’s not going to miss an appointment because Renee was late to dinner. You really wanna stay butthurt at your friend of forty years because she was late to your dead dad’s birthday dinner?

You wouldn’t dance with me at the festival.
I like Leah, I do, but I can’t believe her whole vendetta against Nora was based on the fact that she wouldn’t dance with her. You know what? If Leah grabbed my arm at a street fair and said “let’s dance” I’d probably pull away too. Have you seen her? That girl is like a bulldog wearing a 1980s cheerleading pom-pom on her head. I thought the real tea was gonna be something like Nora stole her man or her dad shot one of her uncles or something. You really that mad because she didn’t wanna dance with you? Forreal?

This is crazy. I can’t believe VH1 gave these messy pathetic wheffahs a show. Next week somebody’s gonna get stabbed because she heard someone tell someone else in a text message to her cousin’s hairdresser that her dress was ugly.

She was probably telling the truth though.

I bet the dress really was ugly.

I have yet to see a cute outfit on this show. :-/