You look really sad.
With the world’s largest hickey on your neck.
From the Daily Mail UK:
A young boy’s roller coaster ride became even more wild for an undesired reason. The boy was hit in the face by a bird while riding Kingda Ka at Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey.
Shane Matus,12, of Monmouth county was riding in the first car of the roller coaster with his friend on Thursday when something unexpectedly hit him in the face.
“When it hit me I was like, ‘What the-? Did somebody throw a ball or something?’ When I started spitting out feathers, I was like, that was a bird,” Shane told NBC News.
Kingda Ka is the world’s tallest roller coaster at 456 feet high. The roller coaster follows a path that shoots straight up into the sky and comes crashing down again at 90 degree angles. It reaches speeds of up to 128 miles per hour.
“They say the bird exploded,” said Shane. “It hurt a lot for like three seconds. People behind us had feathers and blood all over them.”
Gross gross so gross. I’m vomming a little. Can you imagine being behind that kid? Minding your own business, hundreds of feet in the air, hurtling toward earth at ridiculous speeds, when you are showered with blood and guts and feathers. That is not the best time ever.
I would have died. Ketan made me ride that same ride—the tallest coaster in the world, mind you—last year when I was petrified of roller coasters and I almost threw up all over creation while I was just waiting in line for the damned thing. My nerves were done, through, and tore up. If I had come off the ride covered in Bird Insides? Oh god. We might not even be friends anymore…
At least that kid isn’t famous though. Shit like that is more embarrassing when you’re famous. I mean…ask Fabio:
And that trick beside him is laughing. I hope he smothered her later under his awning of manbreasts, flipped his luxurious mane, and waltzed away saying “I can’t believe it’s not karma, bitch.”