Want a quick way to get extra drunk during Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta?

Take a drink anytime somebody says “at the end of the day…” for absolutely no reason.

Who even started that? Is that an Atlanta thing? It makes no sense. I don’t understand why *everybody* says it.

This is a list of things that happen specifically because it’s the end of the day:

the sun goes down
it gets cooler
bats and shrews and stuff come out
crickets get loud
strippers go to work
so do hoes
office buildings get cleaned up
Beyonce takes her hair off

This is a list of things that do NOT happen specifically because it’s the end of the day:

you are still about your paper
she is still your baby momma
you will make a record with or without him
you have each other’s backs
you bought rabbit food aka an engagement ring

Now that we have that cleared up…

Can we just kick Mimi off the show and make Arianne a cast member instead? Or Momma Dee? Or that really cute ballplayer K-Michelle went all country-bumpkin-heaux-down with? Because Mimi is the WORST. I mean, we all know Stevie J is the actual worst, but Mimi is so mind-numbingly awful. I can’t stand a heaux who talks all bad to the camera, is forever saying what she is and ain’t gon do when her friends are around, and then turns into a Simple Susan when her man comes back. Is this real life? Are women really that hellbent on staying with straight-up DOGS? Stevie brought his sidepiece to his MARRIAGE COUNSELING SESSION! And then proceedeth to dab thine sweat from uponst her nose. That’s when you throw a potted plant, drive home, and pull a Left-Eye. Throw some sneakers in the tub, girl, light them shits up, and burn the house down.

I don’t get her.

(I also don’t get how her momma died in 1992 and she waited 20 years to fulfill the woman’s wishes and dump her into the ocean. I’m sure that dead lady is mad as hell in some corner of Scientology heaven, looking down like “I waited two decades in a coffee can for you to say a prayer with an aged-out rasta on a rentaboat for a low-rent reality show?” Mimi better watch out. Tom Cruise and Xenu will be coming for her.)

I will say though that her weave*slash*relaxer situation is really on point usually. Most of the weaves on this show are really good, except for Buckey, obviously. That thing looks like a bearskin rug she died orange and plopped on her head. But other than that, I mean…K Michelle has more wigs than Regine Hunter and Rasheeda’s weave is so good I’m not even at all sure that it is a weave to be honest. Is she part Indian? She is always Pocahontas-ed out to There and I’m frankly a little jealous. If her rap game was as flawless as her no-lye-relaxer game, she might actually have a song that somebody has heard outside of Georgia.

The point is, I thought I had a clear direction when I sat down to write this post but now I, much like the show, have rambled on into incoherency & ratchetry, wasting people’s time and being mildly entertaining. Where’s my VH1 show? I can throw a glass of water and pretend to really wanna fight somebody too.