I like Brandy’s video more than I hate Chris Brown.

*sorrynotsorry*

Seriously. This is the best video she’s ever made, wearin them braids lookin like 16-year-old Brandy Sittin Up In My Room. So excited for her. And she got 3 million views in five days? Forreal? Y’all still checkin for my girl like that?

::sheds single tear::

OK, so…this is why I’m not a pop songwriter or a record executive or otherwise employed by the music business. When this song first came out? You could not have told me I would actually like it a few months later. I shat all over this repeatedly to anyone who would listen. (read carefully, because you’ll never see me type these 3 words together ever again) I was wrong. This shit is hot. I’m fully invested in this new project, Brandy. Forgive me for ever straying from the fold. Have you ever ~~loved somebody~~ hated a song so much it makes you cry? Cause that’s where I was but you have brought back from the brink of the abyss, pulled me from the edge and set me on the path to righteousness again, Praise.

Did y’all see this hair and fashions all up and through? Brandy worked this. Many thanks to all those bald-headed Indian women who gave it up for this video because you know she went through more packs than a season of Love & Hip Hop.

And! She didn’t look awkward trying to dance! Bless her, but you know Brandy can’t dance. She tried so hard in “Talk About Our Love” but it was almost painful to watch. But ole girl is actually moving to the beat and looking comfortable in heels and junk. I’m impressed! She was booming and katting and I have no complaints.

Clearly my only complaint is Chris Brown and his awkwardly-strange salmon-colored nipples. I just fast forwarded through that part and skipped to the bridge, sounding like vintage Janet Jackson on a hard off-beat. This is so winning.

I can’t wait for another album of Brandy humming and ahhing and otherwise not singing words in her man-register that keeps getting lower and lower. I just want Brandy and Toni Braxton to out-man each other on a duet, have Anita Baker come in on the bridge, and just watch everybody’s subwoofer blow out.

If my voice was that deep maybe I’d stop being called ma’am on the phone…