Maybe Buckeey should try a different channel?

Because um…

Dudes just STAY dropping her like a sack of potatoes on VH1.

LOL @ this picture, looking like her spring profile pic in the New Mt. Canaan AME Baptist Church community directory.

No but really…

Maybe she would have better luck on MTV. Or The Bachelor. Or The Bachelorette! I would love to see Shay destroy all of those boring-ass dudes they cast on that show. Or maybe they’d finally get more brown people on it, seeing as how there hasn’t been a non-white Bachelor or Bachelorette in twenty-four whole seasons of that dry-ass little show.

But I digress.

Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta has officially wrapped, and I just need to get the rest of my feelings out about these trainwrecks.

Karlie Red is still messy and she is such a non-factor I can’t even be bothered to look up how to spell her name correctly. I think there’s a “Y” in there somewhere. Karlie Red-y. That’ll do for her.

But am I the only one who sees where Rasheeda is coming from? I’m not saying K. Michelle’s ex-boo beat her up or didn’t beat her up. I don’t know. I don’t know her and I don’t know him. But Rasheeda does know him. If you’re friends with someone for years and then his ex-gf who you’ve only known for 3 months says he’s abusive, wouldn’t you believe the dude you’ve known for years? K. Michelle is basically a stranger to Rasheeda. How can you expect someone you’ve known for 3 months to take your word over that of a friend’s that they’ve known for years?

Rasheeda kept it classy the whole season. She said “That’s my friend, and I’m sorry, but I’m around him and I know him better than I know you.” And K just got messy and loud because she is a messy and loud person. The classy way out of that situation would be “I understand your position, but I know what happened to me. We will never see eye to eye on this so we should probably leave this topic off-limits.” But naw, she had to get ratchet and personal. Leave Rasheeda’s bags alone. Have you seen her hair? I’m fine with Rasheeda’s bags because clearly that’s where she keeps her Oil Sheen and Pink Lotion.

And now my boo Scrappy. Y’all. I love Scrappy. I want a Scrappy of my own to make scrambled eggs for. He is just so CUTE though! Like puppy-dog cute, with his little fat face and them big-ass Chiclet teeth. So I don’t fault Erica and Shay for coming to blows for him, but it’s like these tricks get on TV and forget all their home training. I feel like Erica is the only heaux on that show with any sense, but she showed her whole ass on the reunion show. There is no need to go screaming at the Other Woman. Don’t go screaming at Flavor of Love alumni, period. They went through a lot to get here. They was bussin slobs with Flavor Flav and his ashy/greasy mouf. That is the only man on earth whose mouth is simultaneously dry and greasy at the same time and they were tonguing that fool down for their shot at fame. Erica, leave Buckeey alone. She got dumped by FLAVOR FLAV of all people. She has suffered enough in this lifetime. Just keep Scrappy on a leash and leave that girl alone.

But Joseline needs to stop acting like she wasn’t falling for Steebie. She can say she just wanted the dick and the money, but nobody is gonna throw punches and turn on the waterworks over a penis and a little bit of cash. I’m rooting for the girl either way because her whole life is sad. Her parents are awful. She’s pimping herself out for a non-career in “music.” Her breast implants are two halves of a sixth grade social studies globe.

BTW: Did you hear her “single”? The production is cute. But I didn’t even know you could be a tone-deaf rapper. And somebody please stop her, because she is definitely not giving me sexy.

And Mimi…

Mimi is the worst. I want to punch her in the face. If she and Stevie J were standing side by side and I could only pick one to smack, it would be Mimi. At least Stevie is an asshole up front and just told you how it is: I’m having sex with Joseline—you can stay or you can go. Joseline owned up and said “I’m staying for the money.”

Mimi is acting like her housecleaning business is so off the chain that she doesn’t need to stick around for Stevie’s money. The show is called Love and Hip-Hop. Not Love and Regaluh Bitches With Boring Jobs. I wouldn’t even know about you and your awful sense of self if you weren’t shacked up with Stevie J. So please don’t act like That Bitch when you are just another baby momma in Atlanta letting your man do whatever he wants and then complaining to everybody about it. If you don’t like it? Leave. But don’t stay and then keep going on and on about how foul he is. He’s clearly gonna do what he’s gonna do. And you’re gonna keep cashing checks.

And that’s the end of that. Let’s see what new heffahs they can add to the cast for the second season. Kandi lives in Atlanta. Can she be on there because they need a voice of reason. Or T-Boz. Or Monica. Some Actually Famous person I’ve heard of would be nice because I really didn’t know any of these people before the show aired…