Behind the Music: Nicole Scherzinger

I’ve been a Nicole stan for over a decade now, but even I had to stop and say “hollup…VH1 is making Behind the Musics for people who don’t really make any music?” She has yet to score an actual hit outside of a girl group and both of her (prefabricated) girl groups fell apart because can’t nobody work with the girl.

But THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU to everybody who told me to watch it. I always wondered what happened to Eden’s Crush. Now I know. I always wanted somebody to cop to the fact that nobody else in PCD sang any actual words (Melody’s four and a half adlibs don’t count). Now they have.

Basically what I’m saying is, this is necessary viewing for any and all of the Followers of the Church of Pop Culture. Watch it before VH1 does something stupid and takes it offline.

Get More: Nicole Scherzinger, Behind The Music, Check Out Nicole Scherzinger’s Behind The Song

And can we talk about Ashley Roberts for a second? Hatin-ass hoe. Seriously. It was Martha and the Vandellas. Diana Ross and the Supremes. Hootie and the Blowfish (yes, I’m saying Darius Rucker is Hootie just to bolster my argument, leave me alone). If the record label wants to give the lead singer a “featuring” then just collect your check, do a few pelvic thrusts, and keep it movin, trick. You didn’t even SING anything on the record! Or any of the records! You are a backup dancer who gets to be in all the photoshoots. The end. Nicole basically wrote the song and then sang the song. Be glad you even got to be in the video anyway. Who even are you? You’re not even the special blonde one in the group doing all the leg lifts and splits. You are generic, interchangeable blonde that nobody even cared about. Have all the seats.