New poll results: Everybody’s voting for Obama!

Except actual American voters.

So by “everybody” I mean kids and people from other countries.

Kids elect Obama in Nickelodeon voting

By Lisa de Moraes

Children have elected President Barack Obama to a second term, in Nickelodeon’s 2012 Kids Pick the President voting.

Since this franchise began in 1988, kids have correctly picked the POTUS (in advance of the national election) five out of the last six elections.

More than half a million votes were cast in the network’s online poll this time around. President Obama received 65% of the vote and former Governor Mitt Romney received 35%, Nickelodeon reported.

(source)

The kids have been right five out of the past six elections, so I feel pretty confident. And clearly, kids are better at skimming off the fat and paying attention to what’s really important: Who is a genuinely nice human being looking out for the good of everyone, and who is a cyborg sent from planet Privilege to crush poor people and other undesirables under a boot of immoral policy making.

Adults want Obama to win reelection as well…they just don’t live here.

The presidential election here at home is neck and neck. The Real Clear Politics average of the popular vote puts Gov. Mitt Romney 0.6 percent ahead of President Obama.

But if the world had its say, this election would be a blowout favoring the incumbent.

That’s according to a BBC World Service poll taken in 21 countries. It found for the most part, foreign countries preferred Obama. The only exception was Pakistan where more people said they preferred Romney.

Here’s the key graphic:

(source)

So, the world picks Obama by a landslide. It kind of makes you wonder what’s missing here? What kind of insight does the rest of the world have that we don’t? Or, what’s keeping us from picking Obama by a landslide as well, when Mitt Romney is so obviously a horrible choice?

I’m not saying it has anything to do with bigotry, racism, xenophobia, religious fervor, or ignorance, but it probably has to do with bigotry, racism, xenophobia, religious fervor, and ignorance.

I mean.

We gave up on the Oxford comma and everything. Nothing good comes from such flawed decision-making skills, America.