Jackie Christie had another wedding to honor the gay community.

I appreciate the sentiment and everything.

But this broad is dumber than a jar of hair.

Never in my life did I think Draya would be the only one on the show making sense. All of these Basketball Wives (aka Basic Bitches Whose Vaginas are Vaguely Associated with the NBA) were discussing their various plans (or lack of plans) for attending Jackie’s seventeenth wedding. Even though it was being held at a gay club to show solidarity with the gay community, none of them thought it was ass-backwards to get married as a tribute to people who can’t get married. I understand you want to get married because you love your husband and everything. That’s cute. And you want to renew your vows every year. That’s cute too. But don’t invite me to a celebration that I can’t have! I would be salty as hell.

If your friend was in a wheelchair, would you say “Oh hey, come watch me run this marathon in your honor.” Or “come watch me run my annual marathon and I’ll dedicate this 17th one to the fact that you can’t even walk.”

That’s what Jackie Christie just did. That old lady has so many screws loose and I’m just left here thinking What the hell is wrong with Doug Christie? Something is going on there that we don’t know about. Doug isn’t a bad looking dude — I would actually give him a lil taste, to be honest. And he’s rich. And he’s a stand-up guy. And he seems genuinely nice. Yet, he voluntarily married Jackie and continues to do so every year? Somethin in the milk ain’t clean! I don’t know what’s wrong with Doug, but whatever it is has convinced him that the best he can do is damn Batshit Crazy Jackie.

Where’s that episode of Basketball Wives? That’s what I’m trynna find out. I need some actual drama because all this shesaid/shesaid is wearing me out. Do they not have cocktail glasses or bottles of wine in Los Angeles? Why have none been thrown? These girls are prancing around here calmly discussing problems and not throwing punches like anybody tunes in to watch their basic ass boring lives. Who gives a shit about watching unemployed heffahs go to lunch everyday? When is that interesting? I’ma need Evelyn Lozada to guest star and hit somebody with her car or something because these bitches is drier than sawdust.