Look at this hurricane slingshot action!

I was at work all day not watching the weather, and now I’m watching sitcoms on my friend’s couch, so forgive me if I don’t have all the details on what’s going on. But. I’m sure I can explain this.

As a child who grew up on The Weather Channel…

Sidenote: I was obsessed with The Weather Channel when I was growing up. I think Hurricane Hugo did something to my brain. Like, if I could see what weather was coming way in advance, I could pray it away? Call it misguided Jesus-worship and thunderstormaphobia, but that was totally my life. I also may or may not have sent Jeanetta Jones a card when she got back from maternity leave.

Anyway…as a child who grew up on The Weather Channel, this is what’s happening.

That big red thing is “Hurricane” Sandy. I put “hurricane” in quotes, because this trick is barely worthy of the name. It’s like calling Australia a continent. Really, Australia? No. See how’s she moving up the coast and then that big green/purple thing whips her into New York’s butthole? That’s cold Arctic air. Apparently having those two so close to each other is akin to having Backstreet Boys Fans and *NSYNC Fans duking it out in a tiny room. Lots of tears, screaming, and synchronized dance moves…aka storm surge and downed trees.

Usually, hurricanes weaken quickly overland, but this BSB/NSYNC action could make the system gain strength, like double the record sales. But this is also super rare so I don’t really think these people know what they’re talking about.

My only concern is A) How long the subways will be closed and B) How long before the grocery stores open and I can get Ketan to go shopping and make me something fancy…