Who says Tyra isn’t creative? Last night, I finally realized that Tyra Banks is indeed a genius, shakin up the whole genre. She didn’t even tell anybody. Just laid down this Game Changer with the stealth-quickness. You know what she did? She took the Black Bitch of cycle 16…and made her WHITE instead!
Okay Miss Banks, I see you. I see what you just did there. Clever clever.
I just love those I’mSoHardandTough girls that come on this show. They always spout some quotable akin to “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to be America’s
Next Top Model Wal-Mart Covergirl Spokeswoman for a Year.” I haven’t heard Alexandria’s catchphrase yet but it’s coming. And somewhere around episode 7, she’s going to have a horrible photo and the conversation will go just like this:
Tyra: You know why I chose this photo of you Alexandria?
Alexandria: *tearing up*
Tyra: I edited your entire film and it was a disaster. I chose this photo because it was the only….one….I….could…………………….use.
Alexandria: *couple of tears fall*
AndreLeonTalley: There is just no life in the eyes. Total dreckitude. We need to see inside your SOUL dahling.
Alexandria: *sobbing for her life*
Tyra: (Mother Theresa from Compton voice) What’s going on Alexandria?
Alexandria: I just never want to show any weakNESSSS! *SOBBB SOBBB SOBBB* I’ve just had to be so STRONG for my whole LIFE.
Tyra: But this? This side of you? With mega tears and snot flying out of your nose? Lines of drool escaping your mouth? Crazy insane person ugly cry face? Blotchy red skin all over…because that’s what happens to white girls when they cry? That is beautiful.
AndreLeonTalley: YAAAAAAS DAHLING! VOGUE ITALIA COVAH!
Tyra: Try to let us in next time if you stay around.
I’m calling it. I got five on that.