But I just can’t continue to ignore the fact that homegirl is forever falling out of her house looking all sorts of Tawdry, Tore-Up, and Trashy. I hit my last straw this morning, when I was just minding my business on The Internets and I stumbled across Little Miss Diddy Fired Me at a photoshoot on the beach…with her vagina damned near hanging out. But not in the normal way. Not bent over in a thong or giving a little too much crotch action to the camera. No, that would be too much like Regular. I didn’t even know you could buy a bikini bottom that’s totally primed up for Clit Exposure from the top. Just…click through if you want to see what I’m talking about.
How is that even possible? And why do her friends hate her so much that they’d let her go on a photoshoot like that? And how does it stay up? Seriously, if she does one jumping jack, her whole vagina is gonna fall out like “o hey, what’s up paparazzi, check out my wax job.”
There’s more on the Hollywoodrag but basically you get the idea.
I thought she had reached the bottom of the bucket when she showed up to a pool party a couple of weeks ago in full ChubbyLumpkins mode, dripping sweat into her already-starting-to-wrinkle Big Fake Boob cleave.
Get it together ma’am! I cannot handle this back and forth see-saw with you. I need an album to hold up and say “see? she’s alright!” because the haters are wearing me down, asking me all the time why I like you. At this point Girl I don’t even know.