rafi-dangelo

Michelle Obama is fat and queers are an abomination.

Bob Grisham is a football coach at an Alabama high school and he hates queers and Michelle Obama. Let me go put on my shocked face.

Oh the Injustice! When beautiful people actually don’t have it all.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’m not even sure I still live in America right now. This just doesn’t seem right.

Can we please talk about Miss Alabama 2012 *slash* Alabama Quarterback AJ McCarron’s girlfriend *slash* the internet’s new prettiest girl ever?

Guess what her job is.

Can we just delete Mississippi and Alabama?

I propose we just lump those two bastions of ignorance together, call it Missibama, and forget they exist.

I wouldn’t mind if the South tried to secede again to be honest. That whole place is on some whole other level of crazy, but Mississippi and Alabama are really doing big things right now.

They want Santorum to be President.
They don’t believe in interracial marriage.
They think Obama is a muslim.

I didn’t make any of this up.

These are actual news stories from the past week. Like I said…can we just delete them? I can’t really think of any contributions they make to the country other than raising the median weight of the population and keeping diabetes statistics high.

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BHM Day Eight: Mama Wa Mputu

Previously in Black History.

There are many unsung black heroes who remain unnoticed for years. Maria Fearing is one of them.

Look at this photo.

Felma Schrimshire, Ms. Alabama Nursing Home 2011.

Three words for you, ma’am: Bitch. Betta. Werq.

And she looks swanky and high-class too. I bet she has only the BEST of hard candies in the bottom of her purse. No generic-brand Honey-Lemon Cough Drops for her. She doesn’t even have to shoo all her visitors out of the room so she can have peace and quiet when the Young & the Restless comes on. Felma obviously has DVR—and knows how to work it without the assistance of a great-grand-newphew—so she is in no rush to finish her story about the new orderly who wears too much makeup and looks like a streetwalker.

In her day, women were ladies and kept their bosoms covered and wore parachute underwear with pockets.

Get it Felma. Representing for old people everywhere.

Today in racism…Alabama’s Legislature!

I know, I know. Racism in Alabama….shocking!!! But this is a smidge different because the lawmakers are trying to be LESS racist at the moment. The Senate just passed a new resolution to rework the state’s constitution in order to eliminate references to Jim Crow, segregation laws, and race altogether.

The legislation passed in a 22-9 vote, with all Republicans voting in favor after an all-night session, said Republican Senator Jabo Waggoner.

The proposed amendment would eliminate language that calls for separate schools for black and white students and poll taxes, the latter generally viewed as instituted to keep black residents from voting.

“Even though federal laws nullify these old wordings, it remains a black eye on the state,” said Cam Ward, another Republican senator. (cont.)

**blink**……….**blinkblink**

Who are these 9 Democrats who voted against???

In conclusion: Still staying the heck outta Alabama, thanks.