Apple Release Time is my least favorite time of year.
But also my favorite because I can actually justify my overwhelming feeling of annoyance with most of America by looking at pictures of these assholes standing in line for 30 hours and grinning ear to ear over a PHONE that they could’ve just gotten in the mail a couple of weeks from now anyway.
12:03 pm • 19 September 2014 •
Top 10 Stories: Oct 27 - Nov 2
- Charmed is coming back. And it is going to SUCK. [GO]
- The NYPD’s stop & frisk policy is also back in full force. [GO]
- Rednecks should probably stop before they assume every non-English language is Spanish. [GO]
2:00 pm • 3 November 2013 •
stop and frisk|
Apple can’t sell the iPhone 5C because it doesn’t say “I’m better than you” loudly enough.
Apple's profit margin slipped a little, so of course people with shares and bags of money got scared that their bags of money might be the eensiest bit smaller. And we all know, whenever people with bags of money get scared, it makes the news. What about my fear? Just last night I was afraid I wouldn't make it to Popeye’s before they closed for the night — where’s my interview?
Tech and business analysts keep writing long, drawn-out articles coming up with theories about why Apple had a little dip, but it’s really simple — nobody wants that 5C and it was a really dumb idea.
12:00 pm • 29 October 2013 •
No more secret banking in Switzerland.
The US is cracking down on Switzerland to hand over names of American citizens looking to avoid taxes by funneling their money to Swiss banks. Sounds like a good idea, right? More tax revenue for the US means better healthcare, improving our infrastructure, more government benefits etc.
So where is all that “everybody pay your taxes!” bravado when it comes to corporations like Apple which avoided paying taxes on $44 billion the last few years through overseas banking loopholes? Once again, Washington is almost getting something right, but of course, not pressing forward into the real issue because the lobbyists might get mad at them and stop funding their reelection campaigns.
4:01 pm • 2 September 2013 •
Did you know unemployment benefits are taxed?
I didn’t. I found that out TODAY and I’m about one half-step from livid right now.
How is it that you have to pay a tax on benefits you receive because you have no money to support yourself, yet Congressmen are apologizing to Apple for the inconvenience of looking into their billions and billions of offshore holdings they have squirreled away to avoid paying all of their due taxes? I cannot be the only one who sees something wrong with that picture.
1:11 pm • 23 May 2013 •
Things You Shouldn’t Put In Your Butt: iPhones.
I hope this doesn’t become a recurring thing in my internet life, but there seems to be an abundance of men putting things in their anuses that don’t belong there.
An ex-con was busted for stealing an iPhone when it started ringing — while stashed up his butt in a holding cell at the West Village station house, sources told The Post yesterday.
9:54 am • 24 April 2013 •