rafi-dangelo

This Christian really hurt my feelings on Sunday.

I’m not even kidding. She really made me feel bad! I didn’t read anywhere in the Ten Commandments about throwing shade but I got so much side-eye from this girl on the street, I almost brought out my camera so I could record the moment and study her technique.

Nevermind, atheists. We’re still goin’ to hell.

The Vatican just called the Pope a liar and now we can’t go to hebbin.

I am so disappoint.

But on the bright side: Catholic Infighting 2013!!!

That awkward moment when you ask an Oklahoma tornado survivor about God but she’s an atheist.

Wolf Blitzer was interviewing a survivor from the recent tragedy in Oklahoma and, as we do here in Americhristland, he asked her if she thanked God.

Thank you for representing atheists!

One in Three Americans wants Christianity as our national religion…but nobody reads the Bible.

This is so rich. I read a couple of news stories separately, days apart, and it only just occurred to me to put them together because these people are ridiculous. And of course this would start with North Carolina.

Crystal McVea died, went to heaven, and smelled God.

And she doesn’t even tell us what God smells like.

Crystal…you are completely worthless to me. You had ONE JOB, Crystal, and you couldn’t even write it on a sticky tab so you could remember what God smells like.

Also: She’s a complete fraud.

Pat Robertson: America is too smart for God.

Let me gather myself and try to be as polite as possible because you know I could take it There.

Recently, on The 700 Club, someone wrote in asking why miracles never happen in the US and what can we do to persuade god to do some magic tricks over here.

This was Pat’s response:

Debunking Easter.

Today is a religious holiday! You know what that means. Time to spread my own personal brand of sunshine and address some of the ridiculousness.

But first, if you’re going to throw shade at Easter, at least do it correctly because this oh-so-popular graphic…

…isn’t even true at all. And you’re ruining your own anti-religious credibility by trotting it out.

Santorum says stop attacking Christians, while Louisiana schools teach Christian fundamentalism.

I need for everybody on the Christian Right to get on the same page, please. Either we atheists are attacking you and taking away all of your rights and trying to re-shape America into the image of Satan (who, by the way, we also don’t even believe in because duh), or you feel fully justified in taking taxpayers’ money to teach very obvious lies.

It can’t be both. You can’t cry “religious oppresion!” one day while you send impressionable students off to learn that dinosaurs and people existed at the same time the next.