This one time two idiots fought over a baby.
The idiots in question are Bristol Palin & Levi Johnston. Apparently, he wants full custody, not that I really care who ends up with custody of that poor boy. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. His future as a gas station attendant hooked on Budweiser and Marlboro Lights watching Wheel of Fortune from his trailer eating Hungry Man dinners is pretty set, what with White Trash and Redneck as his two parents.
But I’ma be on Levi’s side just because that little baby rednecklet has already learned the word “faggot” and his momma is clearly an idiot.
3:01 pm • 9 August 2012 •
dancing with the stars|
Today in Irrelevant White Trash…
…let’s have a Levi Johnston update.
I’d still hit it (in secret, and Clorox my dick immediately afterwards).
4:23 pm • 24 May 2012 •
Levi has cute little cakes though.
whatsgoodforthegoose replied to your post: Also, Bristol Palin opened her mouth, so you know a Profound and Worthy statement fell out.
Then to add insult to injury, he has gotten another trick pregnant and already has The baby’s name tattooed on him. He’s a piece of work.
You know they bounce when you smack ‘em. Got them soft, pale good ole boy redneck cheeks.
5:49 pm • 10 May 2012 •
Also, Bristol Palin opened her mouth, so you know a Profound and Worthy statement fell out.
A snippet from the NY Daily News:
We know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home. Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.
She all mad and shit because Obama came out in support of marriage equality so she felt the need to Feign Relevancy and bang out a blog post…….kind of the way Levi banged out her unwed, teenaged vagina and left her a single mother with the father nowhere in sight.
Here Bristol, I’ve drawn you a seat: \_ Sit down, trick.
4:52 pm • 10 May 2012 •
Bristol Palin is running around spreading the clap.
Ok, not really. But I couldn’t have planned this fancy coincidence any better if I’d tried. The Internet goes abuzz with Bristol’s new Ho-Face…and then a brand new report showing Alaska is just chock FULL of chlamydia and gonnorhea.
ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Reuters) – Alaska has the nation’s highest rate of Chlamydia and second-highest rate of gonorrhea as the sexually transmitted diseases spread in rural areas, according to the Alaska Division of Public Health.
A total 6,026 cases of the bacterial disease Chlamydia were reported in Alaska in 2010, a 13 percent rise over the previous year. The Alaska case rate of 849 per 100,000 people is more than twice the national rate of 417, the department said.
Reported cases of gonorrhea totaled 1,273 in 2010, a 23 percent increase and counter to a national trend of reduced gonorrheal infections, the state said. Alaska’s rate was 179 per 100,000 people, compared to a national rate of 99. (cont.)
So OBVIOUSLY this means Bristol Palin is giving people STDs. I don’t need any facts to back that up. All I need is some freak coincidences and enormous leaps to outlandish conclusions. I mean, that’s how Republicans come up with their claims so that must be how we roll.
PS: You know those crazy nutjobs are now saying Obama shouldn’t be President because he’s an illegitimate child? His Kenyan dad needed to stay in the country and knocked up some nice white lady and then bigamy-married her so he could stay in the US. This is the new theory they have pulled out of nowhere since the birth certificate thing is dead. See? OUTLANDISH CONCULSIONS! They need to quit.
8:00 pm • 6 May 2011 •
Look at this photo.
Bristol Palin is a Kardashian now.
To be honest, I like the change. She looks less like a slut who got knocked up and more like a slut who knows her way around a vial of spermicide and a box of Magnums. This new slut would never be caught pregnant. She’s much more likely to give a blowjay in the parking lot of the Viper Room for a line of coke and extra lip gloss.
7:31 pm • 5 May 2011 •
Bristol Palin made $260K last year.
Bristol Palin made $262,500 last year from her speaking engagements where she talks about how you should practice abstinence.
Your only qualification in life is that you had sex without a condom.
The reason you got pregnant is because your parents also kept drilling ABSTINENCE into your head instead of CONDOMS.
And now you’re making a quarter of a million dollars by repeating the same bullshit.
I OFFICIALLY HATE HOW THE WORLD OPERATES!
This is is so stupid anyway. How are you going to tell people not to get pregnant when you’re making gobs of money because you got pregnant. That’s like a drug dealer rolling through the neighborhood with a bullhorn hollering “DON’T SELL DRUGS” from behind the wheel of a Benz.
Plus. I’m forever mad with that wench anyway because she beat Brandy on Dancing With The Stars.
6:00 pm • 6 April 2011 •
dancing with the stars|