This is the same country that’s trying to build the world’s tallest building in under three months. But y’all can’t tell fungus and pocket pussies apart? No ma’am, Pam.
Sex Toy Fools Entire Chinese Village by Audrey Wozniak Jun 19, 2012 10:28am
The discovery of a double-headed sex toy mistaken for a mystical rare fungus brought national notoriety to a Chinese village and TV program this week.
Y’all go ahead and do that. Just let me know exactly where it is so I can be at least a mile away from it at all times. I ain’t trynna be nowhere near that thing when the next earthquake hits because you know it’s gonna look just like this:
Basically, they’re trying to pull some Don’t be tattling on me, telling the truth about my lies business right now. It’s kind of LOL-y to be honest, like two 5-year-olds arguing about who put the hamster in Mrs. Greene’s pocketbook (I’m still denying it was me, btw.)
That has got to be pretty high on the list of Strangest Cause of Death Entries on a Death Certificate. Leave it to China to be on the leading edge of all things. From Global Grind:
She’s A Ball Buster! Woman Kills Man By Squeezing His Testicles Posted April 25, 2012 by The Decider for Global Grind Staff
This woman was a ball buster – literally.
A woman riding her scooter killed a man by squeezing his testicles after arguing over a parking spot in Haikou City, Hainan Province, China.
The 41-year-old rider rode her scooter to an elementary school in the Meilan District, Haikou City to pick up her child and when she wanted to park her scooter in front of a shop, she was rejected by the shop owner, a 42-year-old male.
An argument ensued and the middle aged woman grabbed the man’s testicles, and squeezed them till he finally collapsed on the ground.
The man was immediately rushed to the hospital, but unfortunately died despite doctors efforts to revive him.
I like throwing in a blurb or two about China every once in awhile because they are always just doing the Most over there. Everyday I read something that makes me go, “OK now, boo, slow your roll, okay? It’s not that serious.”
For the first time, I just got that feeling not from a news story but from a blog. I ran across an entry on Towleroad taken from a blog of someone who I assume is an American living in a small-to-medium-sized Chinese city. It gives a little insight into how fast their economy is actually growing and how fast things can change from the point of view of an outsider actually on the ground there.
So. I watched this little clip. I almost threw up.
You could not pay me to drive across this bridge. I would have the panic attack of all panic attacks—can I say that, never having actually had a panic attack? It’s been five minutes since I finished the clip and my breathing still ain’t quite right. I still get a small twinge of fear just riding the Q-train across the Manhattan Bridge. I am convinced that one day, I will be just minding my own business, not bothering anybody, certainly not trying to offend the bridge in any way whatsoever, and a MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE will strike as I’m dead center of the middle span. That’s the part that always breaks and goes crashing into the water below, and I’ll just be ass out, not being able to swim, trapped with tons of steel to die a slow, painful death by drowning.
That is my everyday life. I think about earthquakes at least once every single day, and being that I live on an island connected to the rest of the world by bridges and tunnels, I already know I’m destined to die some tragic death in a battle of mother nature vs. human engineering.
So wherever the hell this bridge is in China, I couldn’t even get within eyesight of it. I would probably pee on myself and then die of embarrassment. Either way, I would be rendered Dead by a bridge and nobody wants to go out like that.
If you didn’t already know this was going to be about China, a lot of people would probably guess Cai to be an ethnic minority in some European country. His pale skin, deep-set green eyes, and wavy blonde hair make him stand out among most of his Chinese compatriots whose phenotypical variation from dark, straight hair and dark, almond-shaped eyes is very rare. Cai is indeed Chinese, from two Chinese parents that have never left China. What’s more, Cai isn’t as much of a rarity in his part of china—there are others who display ‘western’ features around Liqian. So where do they come from?
Watch this Chinese politician go HAM at the airport when he misses is flight.
