rafi-dangelo

Shaunie and Her Nostrils have finally set a date for Basketball Wives Season 5.

**Sister Act 2 Voice** Ooooohhhhh happy daaaaaaayyyyyyy!

You don’t even know how much I need this ratchetry to balance out my dull existence right now. This was the absolute most inconvenient winter ever and I have basically just been in my house watching re-runs of Soul Food and trying to figure out my facial hair situation. This season is already on Hoodrat Level Mach 3 and we’re still 3 months away.

Evelyn Lozada is completely not here for Chad’s new jumpoff.

Quick rehash of a sad story:

Evelyn meets Chad.
Evelyn hears from Everyone In The World, “Girl this is a bad idea.”
Evelyn ignores the ‘haterz.’
Evelyn breaks up with best friend over friend’s dislike of Chad.
Evelyn marries Chad.
Evelyn gets beat up by Chad.
Evelyn divorces Chad.
Evelyn has Twitter war with Chad’s ugly new ~~girlfriend~~ penis receptacle.

Y’all. She went IN on this heffah.

Jackie Christie had another wedding to honor the gay community.

I appreciate the sentiment and everything.

But this broad is dumber than a jar of hair.

VH1 just cancelled Ev & Ocho.

(source)

Now we’ll never know the real tea on that headbutt situation. :-(

Evelyn mistakenly ran into Chad’s forehead with her face.

That must’ve been it. He says the headbutt was an accident so of course I believe him.

But I know that had to hurt.

Look at all that head. It looks like a big ol’ shotgun bullet.

Evelyn Lozada has nowhere to get married.

None of the fancy Miami hotels wanna deal with her hoodrat foolywangery and they’re basically like “Bitch, bye” to her wedding planners.

Vibe’s Sexy Issue featuring the Queens of Reality TV.

Or.

Vibe’s Ratchet Issue featuring The Queens of Wealthy Hoodrattery.

::chuckle::

Look at this photo.

Now it’s accurate.

I’ve only seen 3 Disney movies anyway and two of them made me cry. What I wanna sit on the couch cryin up on some dude for? I’d much rather watch Evelyn Lozada act a damn fool and spend the commercials doing Tami Reenactments.