rafi-dangelo

So I went to Escuelita a lil’ while ago.

Me. Basically all night. And everyone else. Basically all night.

12:00 pm • 22 May 2013 • Let's talk about what you think.
| me| gay clubs| gay bars| gay| nyc|

I guess people really don’t know what gay clubs are like.

So I was eating my Great Grains Banana Nut Crunch this morning and looking for funny news stories to take my mind off of the world. I’m not sure if I like that cereal yet — it was my first time. The bananas kind of taste like those air freshener trees you hang from your rearview mirror, but I’ll give it another shot tomorrow. Anyway, look at this screenshot:

I saw that little blue band on someone’s hip and ‘NSFW’ and thought “what could HuffPo have that would be not safe for work? So I clicked on it. And it was a such a let down.

Look at this photo.

(source)

What’s the security like here? Do you have to show your Black Amex to get in? What’s their definition of affluent? Surely, like every other facet of gay life, if you have the requisite amount of stubble and buff enough arms, you can probably skooch your way on up in there. The better the body, the smaller the stock portfolio can be.

Well. I’m broke. And I have the arms of an Olsen Twin. So maybe I’ll just pull my dick out at the door and hope the ID checker guy is a size queen.

There are gay bars open downtown with no power. How do they expect guys to see each other? Oh right. Gay bars don’t have lights anyway.

That awkward moment when you tag some guy ‘husband material’ and then run into him in a bar.

This.Fucking.Guy.

Can we please talk about this?

Also, we were drinking in the courtyard at XES.

Yes.

There is a gay bar owner in NYC who thought it was clever to spell “sex” backwards. Can we just address the names of these homo establishments here?

Gym (because “masc musc” fags pretend to work out all the time)
the Cock (because that’s what gays like)
Urge (because you go here when you have the urge to see penises)
Flaming Saddles ( because it sounds like damn gonorrhea???)
Boxers (because this is what str8 and str8-acting homos wear)
Bartini (because Chelsea gays like Sex and the City and drink things ending in ‘tini)

Come on gays. Do better. This is unacceptable.

I’m glad straight bars don’t do this. I shudder to think what would be going on at Coyote Ugly.

8:34 pm • 11 July 2012 • Let's talk about what you think.
| gay| gay bars| nyc|

Me #1:	Dangit, I forgot the patch the hole in these jeans.
Me #2:	Where is it?
Me #1:	The crotch.
Me #2:	So obviously you're not going to wear underwear.
Me #1:	Clearly.