rafi-dangelo

Since, Beyonce Baby Bump 2013 has officially commenced, we need to get a head start on this babyname situation so we aren’t all taken unawares by another Blue Ivy situation. We need to prepare ourselves. Brace ourselves for the big event next year. Or next month. You can never really tell when Beyonce will actually “give birth.”

I have a few suggestions.

Has anyone organized the betting pool for Kimye’s relationship yet?

Time has to be winding down on that trainwreck. The signs are there. Kanye is dressing her up in couch covers and she’s trying to make him feel better about running into signs and shit. He’s all ranting about not being a celebrity when her whole life is based on this ridiculous trend of being famous for no reason.

The only reason he hasn’t dumped Kim yet is because she’s pregnant, and even Kanye isn’t asshole enough to leave his chick in the third trimester.

Danity Kane is back together.

I am crying real thug tears over here.

I wish I had the time/ability to make this an actual post, but I am not near a computer so this is as good as it’s going to get. I just needed to let you know that this is actually happening.

Wade Robson says Michael Jackson molested him.

Let me translate that title for you.

Wade Robson must not be able to pay his bills or he has a nasty Coke & Whores habit he needs to fund. This is ridiculous. And for me to say a Michael Jackson story is ridiculous means it is TRULY ridiculous because I am never Team Jackson Family unless Janet is involved (praise!).

Why does everybody feel bad that Lauryn Hill is going to jail?

I don’t. Lauryn Hill was stupid. Were we all up in arms when Wesley Snipes went to jail? Are we only printing out “Free Lauryn” t-shirts because she had her face was on two of the best albums of the 90s? She was stupid.

Are Naomi Campbell and Vlad splitting up?

I know one thing, Naomi better have some jewelry or something. I’m sure that billionaire has given her a few rocks over the years. I just hope she doesn’t mind pawning them because you know he’s still married to his real wife meaning Naomi gets exactly Zero Settlements if they break up.

I need to see the trick who was giving Danny Brown brains on stage.

Because y’all……………..

WHO IS REALLY THAT THIRSTY FOR DANNY BROWN. You really trynna scuzzbucket yourself all in public for a raggily-mouf dude from Detroit who ain’t even had a real hit yet?

And his ends is crispy???

I rebuke this heffah with everything in me. I’m still buggin out about this.

Chris Brown’s father doesn’t want Breezy and Rihanna to be together.

Well there’s some sound advice — dating recommendations from one of the men who taught you treating women like shit was okay in the first place. Who even asked Breezy, Sr. anyway? Oh right, the New York Daily News because they didn’t have anything better to do that day.