Of course they went about it in that whole Faux News Asshole kind of way and almost arrived at the relevant point, but I’ll give them extra points for being in the general realm of a good idea for once.
They can’t pay their bills and they’re about to default at midnight. You can blame e-mail. You can blame the rise of private carriers like UPS and FedEx. You can blame the higher cost of doing basically anything in this country.
Or.
You can place the blame on the rightful owners: Congress. Because Congress is a shitbag and they can’t stand to see a well-oiled machine doing its thing without stepping in and fucking it all to hell.
Apparently, just some regular-ass weed turned him into a zombie!!
This is truly the saddest day of the year. When Michael Jackson’s tiger died of lung cancer, I was sure this week couldn’t get any worse. Oh how wrong I was.
Move over Tamron Hall. There’s a new HBIC on deck.
Don’t let that nice White Lady Suburban Momface fool you. She got sassy in the Michigan House of Representatives and got herself banned from speaking. Werq, hunty.
Look at these fools—Rick Perry and James Mahoney—last week in New Hampshire.
Bank of America will help you out.
BofA tried to minimize the fallout after it went up on the good ole’ HuffPo talmbout how the company doesn’t endorse political candidates. James (their dir. of public policy) was referring to parts of Perry’s speech about job creation and blah blah blah fried bologna sammiches.
Sit down. I don’t believe that any more than I believe that ridiculous rug on Mahoney’s head. No really though, look at the back of that thing. His head looks like an upside-down B52 shot.
And anyone who thinks otherwise needs to step sprightly to the other side of the room, far away from this potential bitchslap.
I was highly incensed earlier this year when I found out that BP doesn’t have to pay for cleanup costs in the gulf. The federal government has been ordered by the court to foot the bill, meaning our tax money is being used to clean up the mess BP made.
Because our government is run by big business. I’ma keep sayin it until it sticks, guys.
So now, according to The Huffington Post, there’s an ongoing “investigation” into any deliberately fraudulent information produced by BP to hide the magnitude of the situation. And I do use the word “investigation” loosely because this is all just for show, a couple of blurbs in the media so anyone who is in fact paying half a piece of attention will be put at ease knowing our government is really digging down into the good meat of the situation. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that OBVIOUSLY everyone involved was lying out of every orifice possible at all times trying to keep that disaster on the hush. And this is how I know.
Not BP. Not Transocean. Naw, that would be too much like right, and our government does a lot of things, but doing the right thing is not one of them.
A federal court just ruled that the government, meaning US taxpayers, are responsible for footing the bill. I mean, you can try to tell me that the government isn’t run by big business. You can try to tell me that all sorts of corporations don’t walk around with politicians squarely in their pockets. But I promise you, I will laugh in your face and walk away, looking at you like Boo Boo the Fool.
Fox & Friends said something smart! Congresspeople should have to pass a test before taking office!
