rafi-dangelo

The quotes are most definitely necessary because let’s be real: most of that mess is barely recognizable as music. Kenya BeyonceFierce Moore has taken her place alongside a venerable host of budding musical talent boosted by the Real Housewives franchise.

Or.

Kenya Moore made a shitty song to go with the other shitty songs by these Bravo nobodies. You be the judge:

Not all of the Housewives’ songs are equally as bad. I’ve listened to them all so you don’t have to and here are the top five tracks least-likely to make you tear the ears off your own head.

Don’t knock Kenya Moore’s shitty straight-to-DVD movies.

Finally, FINALLY, Kenya BeyonceFierce Moore has me on her side.

Also, I’m mad this delusional heffah is the only one in the RHOA cast who gets me hype enough to write about them.

I finally saw the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

I started watching it.

But then I stopped halfway through because it’s just not the same without broke-ass Sheree on there striving for relevance. I finally finished though and there’s a new heaux on the block I can direct all my vitriol towards:

Vibe’s Sexy Issue featuring the Queens of Reality TV.

Or.

Vibe’s Ratchet Issue featuring The Queens of Wealthy Hoodrattery.

::chuckle::

Look at this photo.

I have all kinds of problems with Kandi’s voice. I love her—she’s really the only one left to love on RHOA—but she sounds very Moo Cow Goat Moan sometimes. That said, homegirl can write a song and her last album was really overlooked.

Plus, Xscape is always necessary.

Weekly Charts.

Watch this video.

Kandi “How Could You…Feel My Pain”

In honor of Kandi Burruss being the only one on RHOA with any sense at all (or money, for that matter) let’s get into this. Even though she really does sound like a goat sometimes. :-/

Team Kandi Burruss!

The rest of them broke heffahs can go kick rocks. Except maybe Phaedra. I mean, she kooky as hell, but at least she gives me something to laugh at. I’ve been pretty lax on my Real Housewives of Atlanta viewing lately because I’ve had other things to deal with. I can only deal with so much drama from bougie black ~~bitches~~ beauties out of Atlanta, so my plate is pretty occupied with Braxton Family Values. But I did just watch a RHOA marathon so let me just dig into this real quick.

Oh, and you know Kim just put out a new single right?

Also, what woman wants to buy an MP3 vibrator by Kandi Burruss?

I’m not a chick, but if I was, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want Kandi’s MooCowVoice all up in my vagina.