Everything about this clip is wrong wrong WRONG. But. LOLOLOLOL!! I just feel like that girl will eventually end up on an episode of Maury You Are Not The Father. A dolla makes me holla? Even the interviewers couldn’t keep it together. And where is the Shaniqua/Vontriece/Ma’Quavious in this little girl’s life?! “Honey boo boo chile” does not just organically grow from white people. I’m just sayin.
Also: Mountain Dew makes mice turn into jelly. The company said so themselves. Stop feeding your kids that. Plus, if you yourself are Shrek-sized, wouldn’t you try to do everything you could to keep your kids from being that way? Do you know how many calories are in a soda? I’m brainwashing my kids forreal. They will think soda is battery acid and will poison them to death, I swear. “You see these bubbles honey? THEY WILL BOIL YOUR INSIDES AND YOU WILL DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH.”
Today, I told my 18 year old grandson that nobody asked me to prom when I was in high school, so I didn’t attend. He showed up at my house this evening dressed in a tuxedo and took me as his date to his prom.
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Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O- blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin brother has O- blood. I explained to him that it was a matter of life and death. He sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to his parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took his blood and he asked, “So when will I die?” He thought he was giving his life for hers. Thankfully, they’ll both be fine.
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Today, a woman who must have her voicebox removed due to cancer is enrolled in my sign language class. Her husband, four children, two sisters, brother, mother, father, and twelve close friends are also enrolled in the same class so they can communicate with her after she loses her ability to speak aloud.
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Today, my autistic little sister spoke her first word at the age of 6 – my name
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Today, I was working in a coffee shop when 2 gay men walked in holding hands. As you might expect, heads started turning. Then a young girl at the table next to me asked her mom why 2 men were holding hands. Her mom replied, “Because they love each other.”
This is Jorge Santini, major of San Juan, Puerto Rico, and his family in their Christmas Card portrait.
The Internet is all abuzz about the jaguar murdering an antelope or whatever. But I’m more concerned with that little nugget in the bottom left, wasting her obvious Toddler Diva Status in San Juan. Why isn’t she on Toddlers & Tiaras? She just upstaged a National Geographic murder scene with one over-the-shoulder smolder. She is basically saying “everything in this photo is irrelevant, I’m here now.”
Not as funny as the Halloween Video, but still. I want to be these parents.
Also:
I’m pretty sure the fat kid with the tantrum is the same fat kid who punched the wall in the Halloween video. Somebody needs to get a handle on that kid before he turns out to be a date rapist. I’m just sayin.
Children create flour disaster in the family room.
Oh…kaaaay…
Can I just punch everybody involved with this video?? I cannot handle this. So annoyed right now.
First of all, don’t keep flour where 3 year olds can get to it. Ma’am, what is you doing!
Secondly, when you come out the bathroom and it is just Flourcaust 2011 in your house, your first reaction shouldn’t be to grab a camera while your kids just play around like it’s no big deal. Can I tell you I would STILL be recovering from the asswhoopin my momma woulda laid on me? It would STILL be affecting my personal life. I’m sorry Ted/Brad/Chadwick/Dayquan, I’ll cuff you to the bed, but I can’t get into spanking.
Like. What the hell? She is just wandering around aimlessly mumbling “oh my gods” and shit being HELLA Melodramatic White Lady right here. My momma would’ve definitely went Angry Black Woman HAM and over-reacted, but the big difference between overdramatic and melodramatic is overdramatic can actually produce some well-behaved kids who ackrite because they know what’s gonna happen. When you go buckwild and mommy GRABS A CAMERA and whines for 5 minutes, obviously that sends the message that buckwild is fine and ok and proper.
Those kids have absolutely NO grasp of the fact that they have made a major boo-boo. They are just so regular and calm! I would be hiding under the bed making my last will and testament. Even as a grown-ass man, the last time I visited my mom she actually said to me “make sure you make your bed today.” And guess what….I MADE THE FUCKING BED.
Lord Jesus those children are gonna grow up to be date rapists I just know it. Somebody needs to go shake that woman.
Watch this video.
