“I’d rather have a society full of bearded diaper changers than a society of clean-shaven war heroes. It is no coincidence that some of the worst regimes in history — the Nazis, the Italian fascists, etc. — prescribed beards. It is no coincidence that most powerful men in politics and church are clean-shaven.”
Why are white gay men with extra hair (everywhere except the top of their heads) so obnoxious? I’m over scruff. Over beards. Over chest hair. Over this fake ideal of masculinity just because, through no fault or effort of your own, you have extra follicles on random parts of your body.
And you know this queen is somewhere belting Lady Gaga songs and scheduling his Super Bowl party around Beyonce’s halftime show because he’s never seen a whole football game. Oh but you’re so manly because there’s a rug on your face.
Far be it from me to say mean things about old people, but I hope Cissy Houston mixes up her Polident with Elmer’s Glue. I hope she’s sitting down to watch The Young & The Restless, and the whole episode is preempted by a Presidential address. One day she’ll be knitting the finishing touches on a new afghan for the couch and run out of the yarn she needs only to find out it’s discontinued and she’ll never be able to complete it.
Oprah interviewed Cissy Houston because she’s still trying to save her little network. Apparently we want to watch this angry old lady talk about how Whitney may or may not have been a lesbian and if she was, then that’s worse than her being a crackhead.
They’ve increased the budget for defending DOMA by 600%. Really, Repubs? Y’all don’t have anything better to spend that money on? Three million dollars is a lot of money to waste on people you don’t even like. And gay marriage is indeed inevitable so it really is a complete waste of three million dollars.
Some angry little Christian seafood cafe owner in North Carolina gave a handwritten note to two of his lesbian customers, because Gawd H8s Phags, or Lezzies, or whatever. Does it really matter? The important thing to note here is…
This is just backwards! I mean let’s just backtrack this chain of progression, shall we?
You have a cafe serving fish.
You get fish from the sea by fishermen.
Fishermen on boats catch the fish, wearing boots and flannel.
Who else wears boots and flannel? Lesbians.
Ergo, you owe your restaurant’s existence to lesbians. There are no holes in my argument, so stop tryin.