Look at this photo.

So I was like “Why is Lindsay wearing that random bobby pin in this totally basic hairstyle?”

And then I realized it must be a clip to attach whatever mask she’s wearing, because that can’t be her real face. Nope. That is not Lindsay Lohan. I rebuke that in the name of Jesus.

(Source: celebitchy.com)

5:42 pm • 10 May 2012 • Let's talk about what you think.
| lindsay lohan|

Lindsay Lohan paid a porn star to bang her.

According to Alex “Voodoo” Torres anyway.

Torres, who goes by the screen name Voodoo, talked with The Jim Richards Show on Newstalk 1010 in Toronto on Friday when he divulged his A-list romp.

“Ask him [Michael Lohan] if he knows about that night I had with his daughter while he was sleeping upstairs,” Voodoo says. “I’m not joking!”

Not only does Voodoo claim to have had “relations” with Lindsay, but he makes it sound like she paid him.

“Many of these Hollywood celebrities pay me a high price dollar to come and satisfy them. I’m not joking!” he says. (cont.)

I don’t know if this is true or not because Voodoo strikes me as a major douchenozzle, but really, I don’t even care. All of ^^this^^ is just an excuse for me to post naked pictures of Voodoo because I have been in love with him for like a decade now.

#ThatAwkwardMomentWhen you’re 25 and photographers mistake you for a 66 year old.

Some paparazzi ganged up on poor old Debbie Harry leaving her hotel thinking it was Lindsay Lohan. Oops.

Sad day for Lindsay Lohan.

Also, strangely enough…sad day for Debbie Harry :-(

8:06 pm • 7 March 2012 • Let's talk about what you think.
| lindsay lohan| debbie harry| celebrities|

Lindsay Lohan must now walk an “extremely thin tightrope.”

I mean, that’s what this People article says anyway, because if she doesn’t follow the rules, she could get a 270-day sentence next time. But hold on. She was in jail for how long? Let’s look at the facts, as they pertain to the all-important Kim Kardashian.

Things shorter than Kim Kardashian’s marriage: Lindsay’s 30-day jail sentence.
Things a whole lot shorter than Kim Kardashian’s marriage: Lindsay’s 5-hour jailstay.

She basically walked in, did a couple of long-division problems, and walked out. Because LA jails are overcrowded.

So now, whatever dumbass wrote that People article is basically implying she better ackrite or she’ll be back in jail. Lindsay is not fooling anybody, turning over a new leaf after every mugshot. Problem is, the same worthless leaf is right under it, and she’s not about to carry on this community service and psychotherapy charade. LiLo knows she won’t really serve any jail time because that’s what LA County does to nonviolent (read: celebrity) offenders…serve a few hours and go home.

In order to go to real jail, she’d basically have to pull a Kobe and sexually assault somebody…or pull a Brandy and run over somebody with an SUV…or pull an OJ and slice up some attractive white people. Oh they didn’t go to jail either? Well hell, bitch, just do what the fuck you want because obviously the law makes about as much sense in Hollywood as a Diet Coke at McDonald’s.

3:01 pm • 7 November 2011 • Let's talk about what you think.
| lindsay lohan| kim kardashian|

Lindsay Lohan is going back to jail.

For ~~three months~~ five minutes.

lindsay

Judge Stephanie gave LiLo 3 months in jail along with an outline of how she will complete her community service. And, because of that famous overcrowding in LA County jails, she’ll probably serve about 5 minutes.