I decided to listen to some things I’d been avoiding all year. Ridiculously surprised at how quality that Smashing Pumpkins album was this year! I wrote it off like everyone else did and pretty much ignored it, but let’s be honest here: Billy Corgan was the creative driving force anyway, regardless of who was playing with him. Oceania is really good. Go get that.
One Direction is the worst thing I’ve ever heard. Every song sounds the same except two. Five bland boys with decent voices combined to make the most snooze-inducing pop album I have ever heard in my life. Even damn Rita Ora was better than this, and that sounds like it was cobbled together from a bunch of Gwen Stefani tracks nobody wanted.
Also: Trey Songz is my baby daddy. I wish I had a vagina just so it could get wet listening to him.
You are the worst person ever. You live three floors above me and you are BLASTING your stereo system so loudly I can hear it in my living room above everything else. That’s highly inconsiderate, but what really puts the cherry on top…
YOU HAVE THE WORST TASTE IN MUSIC.
One Direction “That’s What Makes You Beautiful”
Katy Perry “Teenage Dream”
Nikki Minaj “Pound the Alaram”
Rihanna “Where Have You Been?”
The Wanted “Chasing The Sun”
And in that order.
Either you’re a 13 year old girl or a 25 year old gay man dancing around in pink bikini briefs. Either way, you are ::thisclose:: to making me commit a hate crime. I’m about to lose it.
*NSYNC “No Strings Attached” Live, Salt Lake City Olympics
I know you’ve all been wondering what my favorite NSYNC song is so I found a live clip for you. Can we discuss how good JC and Justin sound live? Can we also discuss how this is a boyband that is actually dancing and not just standing in one place ::coughOneDirectioncough::? Can we then discuss how this track is the pinnacle of early 00’s teen pop goodness?
I wish the sound guys had the sense to have everybody’s mics raised, because the background on this song is super fresh. But whatever. I still got what I needed.
And so is the Wanted. And Big Time Rush. And every other boyband that’s not from South Korea (or from 1998-2005).
Sorry, that’s just how it is.
WHERE IS THE DANCING?! Why am I watching your video if there’s no dancing? I mean, when there’s one dude, at least there’s room for some back-up dancers, but when we gotta give equal time to all four or five of you monkey-faced nobodies, there’s no room for backup dancers.
That should be your job anyway. The point of a singing group is to either A) Have enough people to sound amazing without backup singers or B) Have enough people to dance while the lead singer sings. If you aren’t doing either, I don’t have time for you. Let’s compare some videos. I dare you to tell me K-pop isn’t better. Double dare you.
Let’s look at the last videos by some of the biggest boybands on both sides of the planet.