Far be it from me to say mean things about old people, but I hope Cissy Houston mixes up her Polident with Elmer’s Glue. I hope she’s sitting down to watch The Young & The Restless, and the whole episode is preempted by a Presidential address. One day she’ll be knitting the finishing touches on a new afghan for the couch and run out of the yarn she needs only to find out it’s discontinued and she’ll never be able to complete it.
Oprah interviewed Cissy Houston because she’s still trying to save her little network. Apparently we want to watch this angry old lady talk about how Whitney may or may not have been a lesbian and if she was, then that’s worse than her being a crackhead.
(Yeah, I went there. And what. You were thinking the same thing.)
Those are my favorite chicks, talking about haters. What am I hating on? You being a cashier living in your momma’s house, but buying a new iPhone every 8 months and spending half your paycheck on Remi hair?
Why would I waste my time “hating” on something that’s *completely* attainable? I’m trynna hate on Oprah. Or Lisa Bonet. (I mean, Denise Huxtable might not be filthy rich, but have you seen her husbands? Lenny KravitzandJason Momoa? Yes, I will definitely hate all day.)
You guys. Oprah is my new favorite person. I’ve never really felt strongly one way or another about Oprah. On one hand, I have so much respect for her and her life-story and her self-made empire. On the other hand, she is hella boring. But when I tell you Oprah had me in stitches on Jimmy Kimmel last night? It’s one of those things where, yea it was funny, but it was even funnier because you did not see it coming. Just, watch the clips if you missed out.
Sunday Videos: Theme Songs You Forgot About (inspired by Cole, who posted Reading Rainbow on Facebook)
Oprah Winfrey Show
In honor of Oprah being gone, here’s one of her really early theme songs. I don’t understand why there aren’t more high quality versions of this, seeing as how it’s the BEST theme song ever.
Oprah’s Final Show guest list is obviously Marky Mark, TLC, and Kriss Kross. Mystery solved.
Oprah: So, TLC…tell me about yourselves… TLC: Well, we’re just some down-ass chicks who wear baggy clothes. Oprah: Nice! So…Kriss Kross…tell me about yourselves… Kriss Kross: Well, we’re just some down-ass dudes who wear our baggy clothes…backwards. Oprah: Oh I see! And Marky Mark, how do you wear your clothes? MarkyMark: Oh well…I’m just here to caucasianally appropriate anything I can to make a quick buck so I’ll have a name when I start acting.
Remember when she was all over everything and then kinda dipped out with not so much as a “brb”? Well. She was on Oprah yesterday and come to find out she has a reality show chronicling a comeback I guess. Shania’s got some kinda voice disease whose effects are compounded by stress. And she was all stressed out because her husband (and songwriting partner) left her for her best friend.
All that shit is boring.
But what’s not boring is how they tried to play down the fact that Shania has already gotten remarried…to her ex-best-friend’s ex-husband. So, your man leaves you for your best friend and you go marry her ex-husband? Where they do that at???? What kinda Hollyweird Wife Swap mess is that?
She needed to just get on back to Switzerland or whatever country she settled in so she wouldn’t have to pay taxes and get away from the madness, NOT make extra.
I’m just gonna forget about her personal messiness and focus my energies on Old Shania instead:
Shania Twain “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?”
Terrence Howard is over here talkin about Oprah’s tiddies.
