I’m a good internet detective and I basically Google for a living. I’m sure I can find the chump on Facebook and pick out the friends he talks to the most. Let’s see how he feels about people he knows being privy to his nether regions.
At least I’m not sending the pics to his mom. Like this girl did. This girl who we’ll call Queen Of The Internet For A Day.
And where was this, you might ask? Florida of course, where else? Never let it be said that Florida ain’t consistently on top of the ball with the ratchet.
I’m all for protecting people and ensuring the safety of the public, but not at the expense of beautiful men and artful depictions of penises. You have to draw the line somewhere and I cannot stand idly by while there is such injustice in the world.
Have you seen this guy?
The next time he needs to get kicked out of a country, I vote we deport him right onto my face.
He’s throwing a hissy fit because everyone — and by everyone I mean a handful of girls and gayboys on the Internet — is talking about his penis imprint.
Really though, what’s the big deal? We see boob imprints every second of the day.
Not that I ever ate Swiss Rolls anyway, because pre-packaged baked goods make me poot, but now everytime I go to the bodega for a sandwich, I will glance at the Swiss Rolls and think “penis.” I guess it’s not that much different from being in junior high when every cylindrical object made me think “penis” but I digress.
Andrew Wardle was born without a penis and now he’s finally gonna get one.
But seriously, that whole peeing in the morning business is no joke, and you’re sleepy too? I’m like “Can I just lay face down across the toilet? Can this sink move out of the way and make that possible for me?”
Welcome to Penis Pans.com the project where I try to reuse the penis cake pan that I bought for a bachelorette party. When I bought it, I thought I’d be able to make something else with it, but after the party was over, I was a little stumped. I contacted the people at Bachelorette.com to see if they had any ideas but instead of giving me ideas, they laughed and sent me some more pans for free. Now, I have to come up with some designs you can make with a penis cake pan.
The next unsolicited dick pic I get, I’m gonna send it to all their friends.
