I’m dead ass serious. This heffah refuses to get her shit together.
I will be the first to admit that I think Casper Smart is PHOINE. Okay? Like. Yes, J-Lo, get that. You take that little boy and you ride that child until the wheels fall off, you hear me? Wear his ass out…and then move on to the next, Jennifer. What you NOT supposed to do is forfeit the last teensy bit of credibility you have in order to get him a reality show.
Really though, Essence? Y’all ain’t have something better to talk about? A whole interview with Sheree Cant-Get-A-Job,Man,ChildSupport,HouseBuilt Whitfield?
Girl you got FYE-YERD! Because YOU DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY, BOO! I mean, if I wanted to watch broke bitches act a fool on television, I could just watch The Maury NotTheFather Show. I wish she would roll up somewhere now talmbout “who gon’ check me boo?” I don’t know, Sheree, but I know who is not CHECKING for you boo, and that’s Bravo television.
Clearly, this season of RuPaul’s Drag Race was a hot shitty mess, and it is definitely ending in the toilet. I do not envy RuPaul today. In a season that is destined to go down as The Season of Busted Grills, none of the queens reached the heights of past cycles. The audience ended up throwing their weight behind Latrice because…who else could you root for? And then she got kicked off the island.
Now we’re left with queens that nobody is really passionate about anymore.
Fan-Favorite, Sharon, The Hipster Racist
Underdog, Phi Phi, The Brat Who Thinks She’s Better Than She Is
Old Reliable, Chad, Who is Old and Reliably Cher.
I’m not sure who will win. But I can tell you who is *not* going to take home the crown, that’s for sure.
In honor of Kandi Burruss being the only one on RHOA with any sense at all (or money, for that matter) let’s get into this. Even though she really does sound like a goat sometimes. :-/
Bitch you have lost your damned mind. What even is the point of watching Top Model now? Nobody signed up to watch skinny bitches in a competition to be Totally Mediocre and Completely Average. I want to see Miss Jay being fierce and fabulous, Nigel being smashable and debonair, and Mr. Jay being helpful and adorably marriage-worthy.
Oh but you kept that big angry lump of nothing called Kelly Cutrone.
Jesus Christ, Josh M, please be more orange. I dare you. I triple-dog-dare you to put more bronzer on. Stop being a punk dude. For the love of all that is good and holy, don’t stop at Just Orange. Go full fucking construction worker safety vest neon orange. Please. I am begging you to be Hi-Lite Marker orange because clearly you don’t have any real friends to tell you when to put down the self-tanner so you might as well just go full out.
You look like a goddamned jack-o-lantern.
And what are you smelling? It’s a photo, not a scratch and sniff. (Though, this picture was taken at The Cock, so there’s a good chance he was indeed smelling some smells forreal.)
J-Lo needs a life coach.
