South Carolina! What is you doing! You cannot make this stuff up. I couldn’t write a better script to satirize Republican politics even if I tried.
Philandering former Governor makes political comeback in race against scorned ex-wife to take Senate seat from black Tea Party candidate after previous senator steps down to run Conservative think tank.
Nikki! You just want for me to hate you. You had a chance to do ONE good thing for yourself and your state, but you threw it away. Stephen Colbert could’ve brought a measure of cool to South Carolina, the levels of which we haven’t seen since the first time Myrtle Beach’s own Vanna White stepped on the Wheel of Fortune stage dripping with sequins and getting paid ungodly amounts of money for walking and clapping.
Gret Gutfeld, the whiny white guy who hosts Red Eye on Faux News, actually wrote a book called The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph Over Whiners in the Age of False Outrage.
Mind = blown right now.
Have you seen Fox News? That whole channel is where whiners go to cry on each other’s shoulders about how great America used to be back when it was whiter more traditional. I’ll show you what false outrage looks like. Check out this video where three grown men assign blame for the War on Christmas to gay rights and abortions.
Arizona! What is you doing?! Forreal forreal, y’all must be trolling at this point. Do you need someone to talk to? Tell me what’s really going on because y’all can’t seem to stay out of the news these days.
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer (R) has departed her state for an undisclosed location as part of a secretive week-long work trip, the Associated Press reported on Monday.
Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ) doesn’t believe in climate change and doesn’t want to talk about it. (source)
ATTENTION AMERICA: Stop electing stupid and/or greedy people to run the country. Scientists say people are causing the planet to heat up and that is very very bad. Politicians say global warming isn’t real.
How did we let this turn into a he-said, she-said fight? That’s what they do on Maury “You Are The Father” Povich, argue back and forth like idiots both trying to pretend they’re right. Except on Maury, the tests come out and someone is proven wrong. Scientists have tests. Climate change deniers are proven wrong.
Carly Fiorina, former CEO of Hewlett Packard and currently unemployed Professional Loudmouth, says “It is not fair that public employee union pensions and benefits are so rich now that cities and states are going bankrupt, and college tuition is going up 20 and 30%… There is a lot that isn’t fair right now.”