rafi-dangelo

Worst news of the day: Joseline Hernandez won’t be on RHOA.

I have been patiently waiting for some kind of crossover between Love & Hip Hop, Real Housewives of Atlanta, R&B Divas, or Braxton Family Values and the Colored Girls of Reality Television Gods are just not giving it to me.

I thought yesterday all my prayers had been answered.

Striving for Relevancy: Sarah Palin.

Apparently, Sarah Palin still thinks she’s somebody so she keeps trying to book things.

She just booked a speaking gig at the commencement of a high school in Washington state.

But the senior class is only 27 people

Bye, Sarah Palin. Go on somewhere and shoot a moose or something. We are not here for you.

Watch this video.

Kenya Moore “Gone With The Wind Fabulous”

Now you know, Kenya Moore is not my favorite person. And she makes about as much sense as a vegan at a barbecue.

But she DID this, OK? I am done for the rest of the day.

Porshe, Phaedra, Walter. Just covering all bases, and Miss USA roasted them all.

The Top 5 Real Housewives “Songs”

The quotes are most definitely necessary because let’s be real: most of that mess is barely recognizable as music. Kenya BeyonceFierce Moore has taken her place alongside a venerable host of budding musical talent boosted by the Real Housewives franchise.

Or.

Kenya Moore made a shitty song to go with the other shitty songs by these Bravo nobodies. You be the judge:

Not all of the Housewives’ songs are equally as bad. I’ve listened to them all so you don’t have to and here are the top five tracks least-likely to make you tear the ears off your own head.

Don’t knock Kenya Moore’s shitty straight-to-DVD movies.

Finally, FINALLY, Kenya BeyonceFierce Moore has me on her side.

Also, I’m mad this delusional heffah is the only one in the RHOA cast who gets me hype enough to write about them.

Kenya Moore went to Anguilla and let some white lady do her hair!

No. I rebuke this.

There are just some things, racially, that I can’t get down with.

Kenya Moore is so thirsty!

She needs to take her own advice:

Because she is the definition of hot mess right now. Ain’t she the oldest bitch in the club? She spends every episode acting like a high school chickenhead on the corner cutting math class. She better be glad this is Real Housewives of Atlanta and not Basketball Wives, because one of those birds woulda BEEN chopped this heffah up.

I finally saw the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

I started watching it.

But then I stopped halfway through because it’s just not the same without broke-ass Sheree on there striving for relevance. I finally finished though and there’s a new heaux on the block I can direct all my vitriol towards: