rafi-dangelo

Actresses Without Teeth is both terrifying and amazing. And then some lyrics popped into my head.

If I ain’t got dentures
I can’t chew.
If I ain’t got Polident to keep em in
then I definitely can’t chew.
I don’t know much about dentistry, but I know
gums plus gums can’t chew.
And it’s so much food
that you keep giving me I can’t chew.

Beyonce “Super Bowl” (Single Ladies)

At the Super Bowl, At the Super Bowl
At the Super Bowl, At the Super Bowl
At the Super Bowl, At the Super Bowl
At the Super Bowl

Now put your hands up

Let’s be real
the football field
should be named after me.

Cause tell me true —
We all know who
you watchin this game to see.

Rihanna “Skillets”

Get hot like a skillet
Get hot like a skillet

Makin dinner for you and me
What do you want to eat?
The grease is cold, but we don’t know.
We got skillets on the stove.

Fried fish in the pan up front
Smell like it’s almost done
Grab the white bread, the whole loaf.
We got skillets on the stove.

Rihanna “Only Goat In The World”

Ba ba ba baaaa
Ba ba ba baaaa
Ba ba ba baaaa
Ba ba ba baaaa

Verse 1
Want you to take me, for a hot ride
Forget those horses, I’ll hold your saddle right

Rihanna “Where’s the Ham?” Feat. Drake

So, I got inspired again to rewrite a song.

Rihanna
Oh na na, where’s the ham?
Oh na na, or toast and jam?

Oh na na, where’s the ham?
Oh na na, or toast and jam?
Oh na na, a leg of lamb?
Leg of lamb? Leg of lamb?

Drake
Yeah, I heard you good with a crock pot.
Yeah, you know how to bake.
Heat the oven to three hunnit sixty five right?
Cause I’m trynna get some cake ohhhh

Madonna “Go Sit Down”

Time to rewrite another song.

Look at this photo.

Adele “Rolling In A Chair”

There’s a fire starting in my heart
Seems like my pacemaker has finally set off a spark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
My glaucoma is no match for these few joints right here

CHORUS:
Sometimes I used to waaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllk
Now I’m rollin in a chaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiir
Sometimes I used to peeeeeeeeeeeeee by myself
Now my nurse….does home caaaaaaare

(Source: principalprickly, via shesunbeweaveable)

Look at this photo.

Saw this picture.
Had to rewrite the song.

“Who Run the World (Squirrels)”

Squirrels! We run this forrest (yeah!) x4
SQUIRRELS!

Who run the world? Squirrels! X4
Who run this forrest? Squirrels! x4
Who run the world? Squirrels! x4

Some of them may think they squeak this like we do
But no they don’t
Make yo nuts drop in this cut
Pecans on my acorn throne

Chipmunks always try to touch this
Boy this squeak is crazy
This is how they made me
Try but you can’t chase me
This goes out to all my squirrels
Up in the trees and runnin nature
We up in your parks and hoardin nuts and scaring babies

I think I need a greyhoud
None of these rangers can catch me
I’m so quick with this
I remind you I’m so slick with this

Owls, I’m just playin, come here baby
Hoot if you like me—but you scare me

My whole function is finding lunch and
nuts for winter, but trees can give me splinters
Sometimes
I collect
from the ground.

Who run the world? Squirrels! x4
Who run this forrest? Squirrels! x4
Who run the world? Squirrels! x4

It’s hot up in here.
Summertime is wicked and this season’s whack.
I’m waiting for the fall, so I can have me a ball,
and the nuts hit the ground, fillin up my sack.

Anyone foraging, I’ll let you know what time it issssss.
It ain’t cold yet
Got lots of time, don’t break a sweat.

This goes out to all the critters gettin it in
Get on your grind.
Go out and stockpile for winter
Forage in the bright sunshine

Owls, you know you love it
How we smart enough to stock these acorns.
Winter comes, you lookin forlorn—
Cause your food is so gone.
See, you better not ask me
for nuts or fruit seeds.
I got no freebies.
Hungry? Pay me!

My whole function is finding lunch and
nuts for winter, but trees can give me splinters
Sometimes
I collect
from the ground.

Who run the world? Squirrels!

(Source: rafi-dangelo, via -ryan)