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My back hurts because I thought I was a porn star.

So we’re going on about day 9 of this pain in my lower back because last weekend I decided to go out and feel every oat I do not possess and I am too old for that type of foolishness.

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***Usual disclaimer about gay sex and more info than some of y’all want to know about me.

So we’re going on about day 9 of this pain in my lower back because last weekend I decided to go out and feel every oat I do not possess and I am too old for that type of foolishness.

Sean made banana bread on St. Patrick’s Day, so obviously that Friday started out so calm and so relaxed.  Yes, I was using Jameson to spike my iced coffee (also made by Sean, apparently he’s more domestic than I thought) all day, but I had no plans to turn up.  We ordered in from some Peruvian place in his hood and watched crime documentaries.  Nighttime came and we’re both like, “Hmm…maybe we should go out and have a drink in a bar.”  The closest bar was a hotel bar at the Holiday Inn, so we sat around sipping margaritas and caipirinhas with a 44-year-old straight Black man from Panama who had control of the music for some reason.  (I never knew I needed to hear JJ Fad followed by Pternsky, but cheers to new experiences.)  At some point, Sean and I both were heading toward tipsy and decided to go out out, meaning go to gay bars in Jackson Heights and flirt with boys.  And therein lies the beginning of my ordeal.

Y’all.  I don’t know how to flirt with gay men.  It’s not in my DNA and I’ve only recently accepted that fact as being perfectly OK.  I don’t pick up boys in bars and boys don’t pick me up in bars.  So my plan for the night was to drink cheap whiskey, talk shit with Sean, stuff a dollar or two in a jockstrap, and be home at a reasonable hour.  We got to some bar and I immediately locked eyes with a (dyed) bright blonde Latino getting his life on the dancefloor.  The music was calling me, his hips were definitely speaking to me, so I walked up to him.  I was excited!  Some very cute boy was showing me mad interest, so whatever I had to do, I was going to capitalize on that situation.

The way the bar is set up, you have to walk up 3 steps to get onto the dancefloor.  I walked in his direction with the intention of going up the steps to dance with him, but I never got the opportunity because he jumped down on me like a spider monkey.  Two things were off about our perceptions of each other.

One, I thought he was a twink because he was short and he looked thin in his baggy black clothes.  No.  This was one of those short Latinos who lifts everday so that little man was a fucking brick and heavy as all get out.

Two, he must have thought I was stronger than I am – because why else would you jump on someone you don’t know?  I will admit that though I have a deep aversion to the gym, my fat does generally deposit itself in a way that I can give the resemblance of being in some sort of shape.  That’s smoke and mirrors bitch.  I have the muscle tone of an Olsen twin.  I am not equipped to pick up, catch, carry, or swing anybody around who is larger than a toddler.

Given these two pieces of information, you would think that we immediately crashed to the floor, but not so!  Regardless of his weight and my lack of muscles, I have a deep fear of public humiliation and I refuse to be that drunk bitch falling over on the floor.  Y’all, he jumped on me and I definitely pitched forward because  we were absolutely going to hit the floor, but my spirit just wouldn’t let me do it.  I don’t know where I pulled the strength, but just as the back of my hands brushed against the dance floor – that’s how close we were to falling – I pulled him back up, and by then he had his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist, so this bitch is thinking I’m extra strong now after that severe ass dip to the music.  So he is ready to forreal wind it up.  I don’t know how long we went at it, but we were dipping, grinding, he was jumping on me, I was picking him up – it was so much of everything I never wanted and wasn’t prepared for, but the boy was hot and he had a phat ass and I was living my best life.

After awhile, my body finally said “pick that lil boy up one more time and I can’t save you” so I made my exit from the dancefloor but I exchanged numbers with that lil thotcrobat first (that’s a thot who does acrobatics, keep up).  When I went back to the dancefloor he wasn’t there anymore, but I amused myself with this thick Latino cub with beautiful lips who had seen me dancing earlier and decided he wanted a spin.  No, he did not jump on me, thank God.

Fast forward a couple of hours and I was in midtown waiting on my train transfer to take me home to Harlem.  The Thotcrobat text me while I was on the platform.

“Hey don’t you live in Harlem?”
Yes.
“I’m on 137th, wanna meet?”
(Interally, HELL YES ARE YOU KIDDING ME!) Sure.  Should be about 30 minutes.

Keep this in mind y’all – I’m a top, and I can be an aggressive top if it’s the right bottom, but I’m not a dom top.  I don’t smack or spit or pull hair because if somebody does that to me, we fightin.  That little Mexican had it in his mind that I’m a dom top because of the dance routine we had just put together earlier.  Our fuck session quickly went from my comfort zone to “what the hell are you doing right now, Rafi?  Who is you?”  

At one point, I was fucking his (very fat, round, perfect) ass doggy with my hands around the back of his neck because he likes to be choked.  He kept telling me to do it harder and harder and I’m like…are you kidding me?  The energy in my arms is finite, especially after the previous few hours, and I don’t have any more pressure to give this man.  So I made a 30 degree turn to the left, put my foot up on the side of his neck, and basically stepped on his head for awhile and he CAME in that position.  I caught myself in the mirror standing on a thot’s face and started laughing because GIRL WHO AM I RIGHT NOW!  Is this Macho Fucker?  I mean I did have a baseball cap on and everything, but that was to keep the hair out of my eyes, not for any trade fantasies.

We were fucking off and on from 5am to 1130am, mostly on.  When I decided I had no more to give, he put a cockring on me and we went at it some more.  Now, a week and two days later, I still cannot touch my toes.  That Mexican Thotcrobat wore me out harder than any workout of my life and I might never be right again.  The universe is either telling me I am too old for that life or I need to go to the gym.  Either way, she gotta wait until I can stand up and sit down without mimicking a pregnant woman.

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Porn has six weeks left on OnlyFans.

OnlyFans is kicking adult content to the curb in order to court investors.

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I’m so heated. This is so stupid and hypocritical and disrespectful.

OnlyFans is banning porn, the company announced today. It’s a surprise move meant to protect its partnerships with banks and payment providers. The platform will still allow creators to post nude photos and videos, but not any “sexually explicit conduct.” The change goes into effect starting in October.

The decision comes as the London-based company has reportedly been struggling to raise new funding, because investors are either cautious that it might be hosting content containing minors, or because they’re contractually prohibited from investing in adult content. But being a major platform for adult creators, OnlyFans risks alienating the very users who made it big in the first place.

(cont. Input)

Let’s rewind for a second.

David Karp founded micro-blogging platform tumblr in 2007. From 2007 to 2013, the platform exploded. It was a little bit Twitter and a little bit Instagram and a little bit LiveJournal, and the combination worked for a wide variety of users, from image-based creators to long-form writers. It made a large range of content easily shareable and searchable, and it was one of the big social platforms you would use to connect with others or to push your own voice out to the masses.

(And make friends! I just met one of my old tumblr followers at the beach this weekend after he recognized my roommate — hey Turner! xoxo)

In 2013, it was such a prized asset in the tech world, Yahoo! bought the company for $1.1 billion. And then everything changed.

Part of tumblr’s skyrocketing success was due to its unofficial home for creators of adult content. It wasn’t just filming yourself for X-tube or writing a story for Nifty, because the social component meant you could more easily interact with the people who enjoyed your content. Users had the freedom to create along with the ability to connect. It was a safe(r) space for NSFW fare aimed at and created by communities marginalized by mainstream porn.

Neither tumblr nor Yahoo! wanted to admit that a large part of the success of the platform was dependent upon adult content, so Yahoo! was not prepared to find a way to keep those creators. They wanted to grow the platform even more and push it further in a mainstream direction, and you cannot do that while hosting porn. There’s no PornHub download in the AppStore. You can’t show your pubes in your Grindr photo because it’s a mainstream app, and Google & Apple make the rules for censorship. Apple decides nudity is a no-no, so tumblr can’t have nudity on its platform. It’s that simple. Tumblr banned adult content, and a third of its users disappeared immediately. In 2019, just six years after the porn ban, this platform that had just sold for $1.1 billion at the beginning of the decade was picked up by WordPress for three million dollars.

So, this news from OnlyFans is only surprising in the sense that we already saw this happen to tumblr, so does OnlyFans think they will be different? This embarrassingly swift fall from grace happened to a platform whose brand identity was closer to Instagram than XHamster, and yet they completely tanked without porn. OnlyFans as a site is amateur porn.  That’s why we know about it! That’s how it makes cameos in pop songs and stand-up comedy routines. For all the porn that popped up on tumblr, it was still seen as a micro-blogging platform that happened to have adult content as well. Most people have no idea that OnlyFans is ever anything other than porn. That is their brand identity, so how do they expect to survive without adult content?

But I don’t care about businesses making bad decisions that will destroy their company. I could not care less about millionaires losing money. I’m upset because sex workers are once again being shit on by people who pretend adult content is dirty or sex is taboo or porn stars are less than. The vast majority of us are sitting here because our parents wanted to have sex and did so. Sex is the reason OnlyFans is even in a position to court investors and banks to give them more money, but they want respectable money now, so to hell with the sex workers who built the visibility of the platform in the first place. Everybody loves porn until it’s time to respect the people who made it.

All of the men involved with kicking porn off OnlyFans are hypocrites. Because we know they jack off. And we know they use porn to do it. But porn is still taboo because nobody wants to say they masturbate. We all masturbate. The fact that OnlyFans is so popular is evidence of that, so why is it so shameful to be associated with a company that facilitates arousal?

It’s so ridiculous and I can’t wait for OnlyFans to crash and burn as quickly as possible. Let me go find someplace else where I can tip the hotties for their good works. We are still in a pandemic. If you are getting railed on camera in the midst of Delta for my benefit, you deserve a couple of dollars at least.

EDIT:

I just read an article about the history of OnlyFans and I think it’s important to highlight that, unlike tumblr, OnlyFans was created specifically for sex workers. Timothy Stokely already had two adult oriented websites on his resume before he started OnlyFans. He saw Instagram users promoting their adult content which they’d then have to sell person to person. Stokely knew there was money to be made by creating a place where those creators could post their stuff instead of selling nudes in the DMs, and OnlyFans was born.

(How Did OnlyFans Start, Medium.com)

 

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Insider: OnlyFans seeks funding, plots to move away from adult content

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Adult-entertainment site OnlyFans is reportedly in talks to raise new funding at a valuation of more than $1 billion, sources familiar with the matter told Bloomberg on Wednesday.

The online platform, which charges users a subscription to view pictures and videos of celebrities, influencers, and adult-film stars, was teaming up with an advisor to bolster interest from investors, one of the sources told Bloomberg. The source wanted to remain anonymous because the talks were private.

The source also said the advisor was helping OnlyFans become a more mainstream online media site, and that it hoped to move away from its reputation for adult content.

(cont.)

Did everyone at OnlyFans forget how quickly Tumblr became obsolete after they banned adult material? And that was a *free* platform.

Does OnlyFans really think there are enough people who will “pay for access” to their favorite celebrities? When we’re living in an era with the MOST access to stars because they’re all posting social media every five minutes?

 

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“Happy anniversary to this great moment in incel history”

They all just wanna be Chad.

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He’s mad at her for not thinking he’s a hot enough Chad to swipe right on and also mad at her for engaging with him for being funny and interesting, despite the fact that he’s not hot. 🤣🤣

Incel rage at women is just misplaced jealousy toward hot men. They all just wanna be Chad.

If women are shallow for only going after hot, mean, alpha guys, but they’re ALSO shallow when you’re able to grab their attention for your personality, then the problem isn’t women! The problem is men wanting women to fall at their feet because women should be so taken with a man’s hotness and sexual prowess regardless of what that man looks like.

 

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